this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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It's all pretty integrated.
I have always been playful, and loved reading, exploring, all kinds of learning. Multiple moves and an emotionally repressive home environment during childhood, along with physical characteristics and some random fortune, made me a misfit. The culture that I internalized made me sympathize deeply with the wronged, the oppressed, the defenceless.
Very little of what I was born with is composed into my identity. Almost all of it is what I've chosen, or rather, put together and accepted for myself. The biggest descriptor there is someone who feels pain from experiencing the world as it is- whose dreams are cast to the margins by the modes of dominant society.
But I feel like this is right for me. I can trace what I was born into and my early memories, and square these with who and what I am today. Ever since I started calling myself an anarchist a handful of years ago, it felt more than ever like the world made sense, my place in the world made sense, and my path was clear. I don't put much credit in destiny or fate or any other metaphysical intention, but for lack of a better word for it, it feels like I've become who I was "meant" to be.