this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 136 points 6 hours ago (4 children)

They should harness the crazy for good. Make conspiracy theory-sounding stories, but make them factual and get people to take positive action.

"They created chemicals you can inject into the bloodstream that keeps them from getting the Measels."

"The overlords in their golden towers want to tell you who you are and aren't allowed to love."

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

The vaccine one would probably be better as: “independent thinking researchers developed a means of using your own body’s immune response to prevent diseases with a mere injection. Some of them even refused to patent it. But then the media started lying to you about them, trying to get you to stop accepting these miracles? Why, just so some companies could make more money selling you proprietary snake oil to keep you comfortable while you’re sick.”

[–] hogmomma@lemmy.world 4 points 48 minutes ago

Coming from a reformed conspiracy theorist, that was frighteningly good.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Big Essential Oil ruining the day again.

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 13 points 4 hours ago

This is brilliant. Please send them an email with this idea.

[–] dirthawker0@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

I'm totally for this and I bet it would work, too. We've seen the level of ignorance that went into how people chose to vote. If OnionWars puts up those kinds of stories, along with the occasional article declaring Jones actually still owns InfoWarts and any news stating otherwise is fake, they could ease these nutjobs back to sanity.

[–] eugenevdebs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 hours ago

I would love this.