this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Teenagers are in development of becoming an individual. They may have personalities, but they haven't tempered them for society yet. That tempering process is through human connections. I'd argue the best outcomes come through respect, patient connections with adults who demonstrate composure and allow them to grow that composure.
I don't know what you're suggesting other than with holding respect.
I think the desire to be in society and tempered by it is respectable. It's not a binary that is separated by a hurdle. Because I am an adult, I have understanding of where they are in their journey of being socialized as an adult. I respect the effort they have made, the understanding they've developed, and the progress they've achieved. I don't confuse them with being an adult. But I nurture that desire to be an adult through connection and mentorship if that is available.
I don't trust them like others. I trust them for where they are. I respect them for who they are and where they are. As you said, there are other ways to respect. That is what I've chosen. Another way.
I agree that respect is a gift given. Gifts aren't earned. They are not transactions. It says, "I see you." Because I have developed eyes to see others, I can give that gift. I can give them space in my self for them to stretch and grow into whomever they are. Some of who they become is chosen, but some is set. I can see this. This is respect. "I see you again." And as they grow into that person, they turn towards me and ask, "Do you see me?" and I can answer "I see you again and again."
They can never emulate me because there is a part of me that will always be unreachable and unknown to them because they are not me. They can try to be like me and they the best success is if they are exactly like themselves in the process of being like me. An authentic self can emerge. I extend respect in hopes that they become themselves.