(i ripped this off wikipedia real fast so sorry if it's lib)
In October 1776, the Public Universal Friend contracted an epidemic disease and was bedridden and near death with a high fever. Their family summoned a doctor from Attleboro, six miles away, and neighbors kept up a death-watch at night. The fever broke after several days. The Friend later reported that [deadname redacted] had died, receiving revelations from God through two archangels who proclaimed there was "Room, Room, Room, in the many Mansions of eternal glory for Thee and for everyone". The Friend further said that [deadname redacted]'s soul had ascended to heaven and the body had been reanimated with a new spirit charged by God with preaching his word, that of the "Publick Universal Friend", describing that name in the words of Isaiah 62:2 as "a new name which the mouth of the Lord hath named".
From that time on, the Friend refused to answer to their deadname, ignoring or chastising those who insisted on using it. When visitors asked if it was the name of the person they were addressing, the Friend simply quoted Luke 23:3 ("thou sayest it").โ Identifying as neither male nor female, the Friend asked not to be referred to with gendered pronouns. Followers respected these wishes; they referred only to "the Public Universal Friend" or short forms such as "the Friend" or "P.U.F.", and many avoided gender-specific pronouns even in private diaries. When someone asked if the Friend was male or female, the preacher replied "I am that I am", saying the same thing to a man who criticized the Friend's manner of dress (adding, in the latter case, "there is nothing indecent or improper in my dress or appearance; I am not accountable to mortals").
editorial note: I think this is a very cool story and I really love hearing it. We've been around forever and we've been doing variations of this forever. It's really beautiful
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they/theming transfems
I keep getting they/them'd by people who know I prefer she/her. And I mean honestly I vibe with they/them and might set them as secondary pronouns on this site. But it would be nice to be she/her'd at least once in a while, considering that's how I ask to be referred to as.I get that I'm mostly masc presenting right now, but I really shouldn't have to earn the right to be she/her'd. It really feels like they're saying "it feels weird to call this man she, but I can compromise with a they so that he doesn't get on my case about it."
Even though I like they/them pronouns, it's starting to feel very tiring and invalidating considering the relative frequency.
spoiler
In my opinion, you're right on the money. fwiw I don't hate being they/them'd by people I know are cool, but it definitely can be bad and invalidating. Sorry you're dealing with that, I wish I had advice
spoiler
The thing is, I haven't told anyone I've got some nb in me. Not even so much as a scent of that so as to specifically avoid getting defaulted to they/them when I want a she/her default. For all they know I'm a woman who sees herself as a woman and wants to be seen as a woman