this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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I remember thinking in my early twenties that I might as well kill myself if my experience was all adulthood had to offer. Thankfully it has quite a bit more to offer, it just takes a lot of time and effort to find it. I’ve never been suicidal, but at that point in my life I seriously couldn’t see putting myself through such misery for 40-50 years until I could retire, and was desperate for answers.
Similar experiences. I was thinking "that's it? Now i have to do this 5 times a week, recover on the weekend, and then again for the rest of my life?!".
People kept telling me you get used to it. I felt hopeless after couple of years because it didn't get better.
Now I realize that a full time job doesn't need to mean that you are a husk working your life away, always completely drained.
That was exactly it. Plus my job was incredibly physically demanding, and dirty. Then I’d come home after a 1.5 hour commute, take a shower, and spend the rest of the night in college classes. I’d go home after that and get as drunk as I could to try to feel some release, or happiness, then wake up hung-over at 4 am and do it all again. I was miserable. I never had time to surf, or see my friends, or do much of anything besides work, school, Army reserve duties, and drink. I didn’t really find a different path, but circumstance pushed me into different paths, and eventually some of those paths led to a life I enjoy. So, for any youngins out there feeling the same way, stick with it! It does get better if you’re trying.