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By a bidet attachment for your toilet right now. It’s like $25 and you can install it in 30 minutes.
Wouldn’t you pay $25 to never have to wipe your ass again? Go do it.
Don't you still need to wipe yourself dry?
I spin on my head til its dry
You can get one with a dryer, but you need to spend more than $25.
$25 is getting you an AliExpress squirt gun that you can poop through.
Personally, if I'm in no rush, I'll sit there a couple minutes to air dry. If I do need to dry off, you still end up using less toilet paper, just a couple squares to pat dry.
The biggest downside is when you have to poop outside of your house, my butt is no longer used to toilet paper and it just never feels quite as clean as it should once you get used to a bidet.
When I'm away from home and need to take a dump I take care to wipe extra carefully but I still often get some itching and irritation. Goes to show just how effective wiping is.
Thee alloweth the und'rwear soaketh up the wat'r
Where are all these $25 dollar bidets?
Amazon. They attach to your toilet seat.
I have never heard someone have this experience, however it is something you need to get used to and get better at. After about a week of getting used to it I have never seen poop on the toilet paper at all.
I'd give it another try, with a simpler bidet. Japanese bidets are overcomplicated butthole spas, you might have used ithe wrong settings.
Never did a bidet, but I avoid paper to ass like a plague.
I mean, if I'm not home, I do it and whatever.
But I normally just go to shower and that's it. Just clean it while showering.
When you are on a diarrhea and shitting multiple times a day, your ass starts getting irritated after so much paper. By simply cleaning it in the shower, you have no more irritation.
You just reinvented a bidet. It's like a shower, but just for your butt, and you use it right there on the toilet - it only takes a few seconds!
Kinda. Because your ass gets wet, you can't scrub it (which you do in the shower) and then you need to dry it with paper, causing what OP mentioned. Not for me.
Why not?
I rinse with water while aiding with my hand to make sure it's all clean and then use a dedicated towel to wipe it dry. I guess it's slightly more inconvenient than just wiping but I've been doing this for well over 10 years and don't really think about it.
I still dry with tp, but I go through very little. With the cost of toilet paper any reduction is cost saving.
I love mine so much that i bought one for a friend who recently had back surgery. IMO, the one with the vertical knob (turns fwd/bwd) is better/stays cleaner than the one with the arm and horizonal knob (turns r/l).
But then everything's all wet. What do I do then?
Dry off with TP.
I'll add to this travel bidets are cheap and serve as a test drive. And you can fill them with water as warm as you prefer.
My problem with this is our water pressure here is pretty low and the bidet can't shoot out water that could confidently remove some possible sticky stuff. Any suggestions?
Use your hand. I don't think you take showers by just standing there either.