this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I'm not hip to the lingo

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[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well not really. Those are different things. Black pill is about how you think, while incel is about what you are.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Incels are defined by how they think, not what they are.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.

[–] WhyFlip@lemmy.world -1 points 2 months ago

The term, "involuntarily celibate" is not about how someone thinks, hence the "involuntary" portion of the phrase.

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Arguably blackpilled folks are less problematic than incels since they have given up looking and perhaps developed a better attitude toward women (paradoxically) while incels hold a shred of toxic hope that their tradwife will swoop in and save them and that hope eats them alive. Note: I am not a scholar of either community's worldview

[–] mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I had only just learned the term but I'm probably a black pill, and it's different.

My wife and I are having trouble, and divorce is on the table.

When she asked about what am I going to do? I said I don't intend to ever get into another relationship. Apparently that was more hurtful than trying to replace her... Go figure.

I've had enough relationships in my time to know they are all pretty much the same, and I think I will be better off just not with anyone else. I'm sure my patterns play into these dynamics, but I try my best to be a good partner and I think I'm just better spending that energy on supporting myself in the time I have left.

I have kids and don't want to put any pressure on them (IE I'm careful that I don't want them to be my emotional support), but hopefully that will allow me to feel enough connection as I descend into hermithood.