this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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I don't have the same issues, but I get it. And yes, I don't "need to read" the subtitles, but I enjoy the clarification lol
I was a "toe-walker" as a kid, some tics I had to overcome, mild prosopagnosia, adhd stuff vs autistic traits, the audio processing issues... all kinda leaving me with a bunch of social anxiety because I can't always recognize or get to know people (who clearly remember me). I have to constantly play it off as being "aloof" or "head in the clouds". But truly, I just have delays in a few areas and can't always keep up with what's being presented. And the worse it is, the worse my anxiety becomes, leading to a cyclical issue. It's exhausting trying to "keep-up" sometimes
But ya know... fuck it. Just being aware has helped some. I still live a constantly awkward social life, but it's just how I am. I've accepted a lot of it and have learned to (mostly) appreciate my "quirks", and just be the best me that I can manage.
It's not so much that I'm autistic, but more so that I'm simply me.
Edit: I still don't really hear lyrics either, even with treatment. The voice is just another instrument to me (almost like a bass or a drum)...but I kinda like it, because I can always look the lyrics up and clarify... if the song slaps (aka, I'm obsessed). Every day is a new adventure lol
yeah, I hate this play pretend stuff to get out of being judged.
i recently realized that this could be masking, and i always did that, and I had completely false understanding about masking in autism.
god, I had so many awkard situations with not recognizing people... and friends and family dont believe me, because sure, i recognize them.
accepting my defects instead of being ashamed of them was very difficult. but it was the right path to go down, i am much happier then 10 years before.