this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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The Onion
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Lol, had to check if this was onion (because there already were plenty of weird actions on his side that turned out to be real)
Anyway it looks like onion increased its quality back to what it was (after it was sold to Global Tetrahedron - created by onion fans). Also the printed version is returning and if you donate $5+/month or $60+/year you can get it mailed to you. I signed up yesterday (I believe this promotion is only for few more days, for anyone interested)
I believe he buried her there to get a reduction on the property taxes because the golf course is now technically a cemetery
Also where he stashed a bunch more classified documents.
Allegedly