this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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If you're pan, you're pan. Doesn't matter if your current relationship is straight-presenting. Doesn't matter if you get married and stay with her your whole life. I knew I was pan but refused to say anything about it to anyone for a very long time because I was in an ostensibly hetero relationship. It just felt worse and worse until I couldn't hold it in anymore. There are MANY queer people who know and aren't out to anyone. I wouldn't be out if not for all the lovely people on here. Bi/pan erasure is real and damaging, don't erase yourself because you don't want to rock the boat. Does your partner know?
Yea, she knows, she's pan herself (actually prefers women generally, haha, funny how we worked out). I think a large part of my struggle is growing up in an incredibly homophobic environment and constantly being called "gay" for having any effeminate traits, despite being a cis-male, and my personal failure to fully confront that internalized homophobia. It's something I'm trying to work on.
Thanks for the perspective!