this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Very important.

  • I want to be with someone I enjoy talking to.

  • I admit that I couldn't bring much to the sort of relationship where intelligence isn't particularly important.

  • Intelligence is heritable to a significant extent, which is important in case children are produced.

One downside (in a sense) is that this approach will probably lead to two very career-oriented people being together, which causes some problems.

Edit: I'm saying this as someone who is significantly above average on the sort of intelligence measured by SATs.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I got a perfect score on my SATs and I’m in my mid thirties and working in a bakery (not as a baker, I just sell bread and clean. It’s lovely).

Granted, it’s part time while I get a master’s degree, but I’ll be working 20 hours a week for mediocre pay when I finish, teaching adult language/integration courses for new immigrants.

Intelligence and ambition aren’t necessarily related, though obviously you get farther if you get good grades. Ambition is correlated with studying, diligence, and focus, so it tends to lead to higher SAT scores.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Conscientiousness and ambition aren't the same thing but they are related, and conscientiousness appears to be uncorrelated or weakly negatively correlated with intelligence. With that said, I have met relatively few highly intelligent people who aren't career-oriented; I can only guess about why.

A friend of mine is married to an intelligent, educated woman who simply doesn't want to work. I don't understand her - I would be bored out of my mind if I went more than a few months without a job. But I do sometimes envy my friend. He can support his family on a single income, and when he moves for work his wife has no difficulty coming with him. He can take jobs far from big cities because he doesn't have to worry about being somewhere where she can find a job too. (Right now they live near the beach on an island in Florida.)

Meanwhile my partner and I have twice as much money as his family but we don't even live together because I live near my job and she lives near hers. We're both busy so we see each other once or twice a week. We aren't just dating - we're in a committed long-term relationship, but work comes first.