this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 52 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Option #3:

Same as option #2, but replace BPD with autism, and less mental health issues once she figures out she doesn't need to pretend to be normal.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You basically described my dream woman

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (4 children)

We fetishizing autism now?

Missed that memo.

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 months ago

I dont think its weird to find autism attractive. Depending on who you ask, it might be called a disorder or just a normal trait. It's the same way that any trait can be attractive.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If I'm autistic and want to find a romantic partner that I can connect with on that level, is that fetishizing?

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well, I didn't find a real, good definition of 'fetishizing' but, if we agree on the one I'll provide below, you should be able to answer for yourself in this and future cases.^1

Fetishization is the choice to extremely, positively overweight one or more intrinsic qualities of a person or group of people, such that there is a sexual or romantic preference of a person or group of people based on that innate trait, irrespective of their overall character as a person.

Autism is weird for this definition because, while it is an inherent facet of a person, it does have a large effect on how a person grows up. This obviously shapes their character.

As an experiment, take your hypothetical dream person. A second party is a necessity for mental grounding. If you can find another person to assist, have them swap out character traits (social, personal, mental, etc.) until you find a point you'd no longer find the hypothetical dream person appealing.

Anyway, hope you can do some self-study and find that answer.

^1 If you don't agree, then we're piss outta luck and I'm gonna leave.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 3 points 3 months ago

Going with that definition, I don't fetishize autistic women because my perception of a women's sexiness is not affected by neurotype. It's the relationship and connection that I would value with an autistic woman over others.

[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I don't think that is fetishising. That's preference, fetishising meand reducing someone/something to a sexual object

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 3 months ago

That's just the more common usage. It doesn't just apply to relationships or people, but also hobbies and professions.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ever saw/read sousou no Frieren?

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kiosade@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 months ago

Of course it can: the whole Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope was code for autistic women, and it was a big thing like 15 years back.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

You just described both of my partners

[–] Taalnazi@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Those are good choices