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I invested in one of those super fancy "smart" toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.
I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.
Its the fanciest thing I own.
what's on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?
I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.
Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:
But what I really want is for it to say "Arigato Daddy-sama (ʘᴗʘ✿)" after I shit in it
I promise there's no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.
Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I'm into.
The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.
Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.
I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.
I have one too, I’m on it now.