I think getting rid of the Aspergers label was a big mistake on that part. Yeah he was a nazi eugenicist, blah blah blah, but having a label that both differentiates "people who seem like weird fuckups but are otherwise kind of normal?" from "people who have significant disabilities preventing a normal life" and is widely known was a useful shorthand to have.
Plus "aspie" is a much cuter term than "autist" that hasn't to my knowledge been used as a slur.
There's also no shortage of people who have been on waiting lists for years for a diagnosis.
Mine took almost 4 years between referral and assessment. Two of my friends have been waiting two and four years respectively when both were told the list was "about 18 months long", with medical professionals asking the latter if they're sure they want to keep waiting, trying to get them to come off the list. And this is an area that has shorter wait times than average for the country.
When you're dealing with that kind of scarcity of diagnosis it's not reasonable to dismiss anyone who has self-identified out of hand. Of course there are and have always been pretenders and misguided teens who want to feel special, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that a lot of those are some kind of neurodivergent and that desire to feel special is born of trying to find a "right fit" in a world that feels wrong.
The woman who runs my local autistic adults support service was diagnosed age 50. I've no idea of her age now, but she has remarked how freeing it was when she stopped masking that day. I think her "I'm old enough to no longer give a shit" energy kicked in early.
If you're fine as you are, then there may well be no point. Just make sure you actually are fine, rather than getting by at the expense of your own happiness/sense of belonging/burning out.
For me, diagnosis was almost an act of desperation after 15+ years of depression and anxiety that no amount of medication or therapy seemed to help. I didn't go through a self-identification journey or anything, it was suggested off-hand by a therapist who offered to write a referral. I forgot about it for several years, finally followed-up and got assessed and diagnosed in 2021. And to start with, knowing did nothing, but now that I've started exploring adjustments for autism it has made one hell of a difference. Which also means that if you do have struggles you may not need a formal diagnosis to work out how to alleviate them, though if it would qualify you for official support services or workplace accommodations it may be worth considering.
I had my assessment aged 29. It was a multi-hour conversation with two assessors via videocall (would have been face-to-face, but pandemic). I had my mum with me to attest to my behaviour as a child, though she left the room for about half of the time. Part of it was casual conversation, part was more interview-style with questions for both me and my mum, then there were story-telling exercises based on different kinds of prompts. I was a lot more honest during the conversational parts than I usually am in social situations, precisely because they were there to assess my actual mental state, not the socially-polite front I put up.
Agreed, it's the only way we get to "hang out" with the parents in our friend circle, regular in-person games require too much commitment when you have a toddler and an infant.
That's how I got into ttrpgs: started dating a massive nerd and fell in love with both him and the gaming. Married him and everything, now we host two games a fortnight.
I worked from the office this morning, as I've recently found that working mornings from the office makes me less lethargic and anhedonic despite how much I'd love to just stay in bed until the last second and stumble across to my WFH setup. After getting a splitting headache yesterday evening I swallowed my fear of looking weird and wore my sunglasses the whole time at my desk. Earplugs too, but they're much less noticeable. I think it worked, but I should have kept them on for the afternoon too as it's feeling pretty bright here at home. The only person to say anything was my boss over videocall but we have a good relationship so I could explain why I was wearing them and just got a "fair enough, can't argue with that!" in response.
Also made sure that my newly-assigned desk will still be there when the office switches from the current desk-booking system to a true hot-desking-hell-free-for-all and that it will be marked as such so no one accidentally sits there like someone did yesterday (wasn't his fault at all, and he was perfectly lovely about moving, but still wasn't a fun social encounter).
I just wish they didn't make them so big. I'm about ready to give up on my Fairphone 3 and order a Zenfone 10, and the 4 is even bigger than the 3.
And they may have a pissed-off lord to contend with for sleeping with his daughter.
Or presumably there's more than one virgin woman in this world. Dude might have wanted the lord's daughter but some other random girl will do and now the party has no idea who the next target will be.
I can only speak to my own experience, but identifying the specific environmental issues has been far more important than knowing that my problem is autism. Two years of "yes I'm autistic but I get on fine, I don't need special adjustments" with medication and therapy for anxiety did nothing. Six weeks of wearing sunglasses indoors and outdoors, earplugs most of the time, letting my husband know exactly how many terrible puns I think of instead of quietly assuming they're too lame to share, and accepting that we need to hire a cleaner because I'm never going to manage the house and it's like the depressive shroud of my entire adult life has lifted.
I hope you get the answers you need from the assessment, and I encourage you to explore what you can change about your environment regardless of what those answers are. You will get through, and things will get better 💜
That is a concern, but it's still true that you operating at your best will look very different to someone whose autism comes with intellectual delays/impairments and mobility impairments. And the diagnosis is still graded in "levels", all that has changed is now you have to explain "level one is what they used to call aspergers".