TheActualDevil

joined 1 year ago
[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 4 points 10 months ago

Yes! I completely forgot this one, thank you!

In fact, OP, I'm going to suggest a Youtube channel, but with some stipulations. Jackson Galaxy. He's an interesting guy who had (has?) a show on animal planet, but he has a really good grasp on Cat behavior. He get's a little weird with some of his homeopathic products that he has for sale that I'm a little skeptical of. But his cat behavior stuff all seems pretty spot on and his advice for cat care (As long as it's not about a product he sells on his site) is really good. It's worth a look I think.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 10 points 10 months ago (3 children)

So I know this is a thread about toys, but it looks like you got a lot of good advice, and since you're new to cats, one thing that most people either don't realize or ignore is the number of litterboxes. 1 is not enough, even for a single cat. General rule of thumb for litterboxes is Number of cats + 1. You want them to view the entire place as their territory and a big part of that is scent markers. And the biggest of them is the litterbox. Many cats will, as soon as you change the litter, use it. That's because they want it to smell like their territory (To their sensitive noses). Spreading that around for them makes for a happy cat and reduces the chances of "accidents" or just marking territory later on in times of stress.

I'll also say you should probably have a scratching post on every room that they hang out in regularly. They're not going to go to another room to find it if they want a good stretch or scratch. I suggest angled or flat ones at first because they will often use them to really stretch out their spine so they need to get a lot of distance between stretched out back and front feet. That's a lot easier (and cheaper) in flat or angled ones. If they end up preferring upright ones they got to be real tall to give them what they want. And those are expensive.

One more tip. Even if you decide to feed them dry food, use designated feeding times. Read the package and figure out how much they should eat a day and split that in 2-3 parts and measure that out giving them meal times. It's better for their physical health and it's more in line with their body's natural rhythm.

In general though, it's best to establish routines for behaviors you want to promote (Cats love routine) early on and keep it up. If you try to introduce new routines later it's a lot harder to establish. The change of moving into a new home is the perfect time to create a new routine since everything is kinda chaos for them anyway and it helps them establish order in their lives.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 3 points 10 months ago

While it is suggesting it was common at the time, it doesn't outright state they're talking about that time. At earlier points in history it certainly was acceptable, but we probably don't have pictures of it to go in textbooks. This reeks of them having a general point to make and having a picture that almost fits that point. I've made more tenuous connections for college papers before.

Also, while it's not as drastic, I was doing some looking into family history recently and I found some ancestors who got married around that time. The marriage certificate listed the wife as 17 and the husband as 21... but the math didn't add up when I found their birth certificates and on the marriage certificate she was aged up from 15 and he was aged down from 22. It was in a small farming community and at that point in time and place schooling was largely abandoned during harvest and as soon as kids were old enough to help out on the farm full time they would just stop with school. And for women, helping out on the farm meant taking care of the house and raising kids generally. Time at school was a waste for them so they just got right to the adult stuff immediately.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 12 points 10 months ago

I remember reading an article years ago about a village that put out an absurd amount of Olympic long distance runners. The article noted that the village was on a high plateau and far from other places. The extreme difference in height led to better lung capacity and the normalcy of having to travel by foot long distances just raised a bunch of people who conditioned their bodies from birth to be adept at long distance running. None of it resulted in any major changes in population physiology as it's just training your body to deal with environmental conditions after birth and doesn't cause the mutations in the genome that would mark evolutionary changes.

I mean, obviously there are some physical differences between races. They look different, some have more prevalence of certain diseases or conditions, but races are entirely a social construct. Scaled out, the differences in races aren't more severe than the differences in variability in smaller groups within a race, or even a family. It's like, yeah, uncle Steve's side of the family all have kinda pointy ears because he passed that on to his kids but his brother didn't pass that gene on but they're still family. Zoom out and view all humans not as different races but one giant group and uncle Steve's branch all just have darker skin or straighter hair, but they're still clearly part of the human family.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 76 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Is your family member Google Ad Sense?

"I see you spent a week researching PSUs for your computer and I see that you finally bought one. Would you like to buy a PSU? because even though we know you bought one we'll be showing you nothing but ads for PSUs for the foreseeable future."

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 3 points 10 months ago

There's also some perspective in play here. It's up on a hill and a distance from the camps. From this POV it's going to look a lot more imposing.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 3 points 10 months ago

If they make a bad product do you want more of it, even for free?

Like, reviewers get to the point where companies send them free product for review from a long period of legitimate reviews that get them a large enough audience. It's unlikely they're getting their main profits from free products sent.

Obviously you shouldn't take a single person's review as gospel anyway, but just them getting a review copy of a thing isn't a sole reason to discredit their opinion.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's awesome. Elantris doesn't get enough love from Sanderson fans, I think because his other work is so strong where in Elantris he was still finding his voice as his first published work. But I read it after books 1-4 of the Stormlight books and while it was clearly an early work and in comparison it's not written as "well," a lot of the key things are there. Compelling story, good character work, and compared to most fiction, really well written. It's just when put next to his later works it feels a bit "less." But obviously, his strength is really his character work, and some of them were a bit flat, but that villain... man that really showed what he can do with a character. And of course his story ideas are always just so unique and awesome.

And I don't know how much of Sanderson's background you know but it was the first Mistborn book that got him Wheel of Time. His telling of that story is actually really touching to me as someone who loves books and how they can affect people.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 7 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Oh man, I am so excited for you! That ending is amazing for the series. WoT is how I found my way to Brandon Sanderson. Now that I've read a lot of his stuff I understand that he excels at endings; its probably his biggest strength.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 2 points 11 months ago

To maybe build on this a little, as someone who grew up in a household with a parent with anger issues who would take their own frustrations out on the family, it definitely helps as something to avoid, but I've found that my inward reactions have gotten better as well once I realized that anger being my immediate reaction was due to growing up in an environment where that was normalized. Even if at the time it could be frightening and I knew even then that it was bad, the human brain is funny and children are impressionable.

I was in my 30s before I came to terms with the fact that my anger issues, however well controlled the outbursts were and no matter how much I avoided letting other people know it was happening, they were still there and I was still following in the steps of my father emotionally. And recognizing that it's not how everyone feels and it's not just "how my brain works," but conditioning, and conditioning that can be broken. Similarly, I would remove myself and reflect, but I'd start to focus less on me and my reactions and force more empathy by thinking about the person or thing or situation and what led to me being upset. Eventually it got to the point where now my immediate reaction is to rationalize the situation before I emotionally respond. If I think through it and I feel I should actually still be upset, then I can confront it, but in calmer and more rational state, confident that I'm probably justified.

It still happens sometimes. Mostly it's the normal irritability that everyone feels when they're stressed or tired. And sometimes that old habit comes back and I react a little more hotly than I should for no reason. I have cats that, like your dogs, even if the anger is not directed anywhere near them, they get scared. Seeing that pulls me out real quick and I'll calm down if only just to calm them, then give then scritches and pats to let them know it's okay and they're safe. So I'd probably say that even just having them around has given me a little accountability to help as well and made it easier to avoid. Say I'm having one of those days where I'm just clumsy and uncoordinated and keep dropping or breaking things. I get real close, but my reaction will immediately be to think about making sure they don't get upset. I think it helps over-wright that anger conditioning with conditioning myself to focus on something else.

So the conclusion I've come to, literally just now while typing all this since I haven't given it a ton of active thought before, is that the conditioning to that reaction has to be broken, and that's usually easier by replacing it so you don't even go to anger, but to something else every time. As every therapist I've ever been to says, you also can't feel shame or upset with yourself for the anger. It's a thing that you want to work on and the bet way to fix it is to dispassionately view it and work on it. Beating yourself up will only make it worse.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 6 points 11 months ago

It also certainly doesn't help me remembering which is which when in Outer WILDS you explore different worlds and in Outer WORLDS the tutorial area is kind of an overgrown wilds in which you explore very few worlds. When I have to talk about either one of them I just say "You know, the one with the crazy gravity physics and planets" or "You know, the one that's basically just Firefly the video game."

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 2 points 11 months ago

For me it's definitely an RP choice. I don't always choose one or the other, but in games that give character creation options I tend to go for a quick "non-canon" play test to get a feel for the game and setting and get an idea of how I want to play it. Then I start a new file and create a character to fit that. Sometimes I go for a lithe rogue or a buff fighter, and the gender usually depends on either how I'm feeling or possible story/world stuff that makes it fit better, or sometimes just something interesting. Like in early Cyberpunk there was a glitch where you could start with a male character, then switch some settings and you'd get the female options but it would keep the original genitalia, so I played through as a trans woman because it wasn't something I'd done before and it was interesting and fit well into the setting. It didn't change anything in the game and I kept my character clothed so you never saw her hanging dong. But then I hit the story with the trans woman NPC and my V found a friend who they could connect with a little better. It was a fun role-play opportunity and I felt like it helped my connect to the game and the world even better when my avatar wasn't just a puppet I used to interact with the game. Even in games like the Witcher where you're given a named character, my Geralt always developed his own personality. I once accidentally sold all my boots and didn't realize for a few days that he was running around without shoes. When I noticed it immediately became part of his personality that he doesn't wear shoes. He like feeling the grass when he fights and he's more connected with nature. It kinda fit with the default personality but I leaned heavy into the more nature-focused choices where possible and it changed how I played.

Though I'm probably not an average case-study. I tend to eschew gender norms while identifying as a straight cis guy. I wear what I want, paint my nails or wear makeup if I'm feeling it. And I do lean heavy into the single player RPG games and avoid MOBAs or shooters. I think I've mostly just been playing DnD in all my video games, lol.

Speaking of DnD, my BG3 playthrough started with a female Drow monk because I haven't played any of that in DnD before, but as I played I knew I wanted a rogue so I restarted and as I built it I started with a human male but ended up with a Gith male rogue because I liked the look a bit more for it and knowing what little I did about the Gith in the opening it would be fun RP. But in my head, he's not from a creche but was lost as a small Gith and raised in some small village by human parents. So he doesn't fit in with the Gith he meets but also faces the fear that most people in the world experience when they see him. It just adds so much more depth to the game when they have their own personality.

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