FauxPseudo

People that don't want their location triangulated from cell phone towers.

Yeah the instructions definitely weren't clear.

It's a niche Dune reference.

One got transferred to a hospital last winter and eventually got into some kind of housing situation.

One tends to hang out at the Walmart.

Others are frequently in and out of one of the two hotels in town. We had three but they tore one down.

Do you have access to any weakly gravitationally bound objects that can be redirected at Earth? Anything 9km or above in circumference should work.

Each person that has ever dated me has understood that I will never react appropriately in a social situation. Not because I act out of spite but because I have zero clue as to what I'm doing.

I used to be a pretty famous ASCII artist. Actually made money from it. I made enough money to cover all of my art school education and every art supply I'd ever bought. Which means I'm a successful artist.

My ex had my old phone number. I got a message from her to check her voicemail. And then I got a message that she hated me. The voicemail was offering me a job as an ASCII artist. She hated me because I always seem to make money off of the absolute dumbest hobbies. I respected her for saying that.

I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. "What's up?" " I just got a phone call. My mom died." "Congratulations." "Thank you."

She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.

If he has nothing to hide, he has nothing to fear.

I should have qualified that those statements are in universe. In our world we all celebrate Jimmy.