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Image description: Installation progress bar running for software upgrade of the Under Armour running shoes
(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)
“Why would shoes need to be connected to the Internet?”
“To download software updates.”
“Why would shoes need to download software updates?”
“To fix security vulnerabilities.”
“And why would shoes have security vulnerabilities?”
“Because they’re connected to the Internet.”
It’s cuz blinky lights are cool!
Look, from the app I can change them blue!
Daba dee daba dai?
Sorry I can’t go running today, my shoes bricked.
Sorry you can’t use your shoes right now, please renew your subscription to keep enjoying the SmarWalkPro® shoes.
“Thank you for your purchase of a pair of Nike AirConnect shoes. Please be aware that, at times, you may need to pair your shoes with an internet connection to update certain features.
These features include, but aren’t limited to, step tracking, distance tracking, RealFeel™ Ground Weather information.
Failure to update in a timely manner may lead to software malfunctions such as tying your laces together right before you go down the stairs.”