this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Relationship Advice

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Here's a low stakes question to start the community.

My father adopted me when he married my mother forty years ago. Unfortunately, she died only seven years later. Together they had two of their own. He's not an overly affectionate person, but in my adulthood he's been incredibly supportive.

Recently, he took a week off of work (a BFD for him) and flew halfway across the US to take care of me and my animals after a serious surgery. I'm trying to write a thank you note, but everything I write seems clinical or soppy. I've even tried chat GPT, but they're as awful and stilted as I am.

So here's the thing I want advice on... How do I thank him for continously choosing to be my dad for the last ~40 years?

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[–] UberFox@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

I would recommend just saying that you appreciate him and giving him a big hug. Men usually have a stigma about being affectionate but believe me there's nothing more happier than someone saying that they appreciate you outright.

[–] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Consider this: Most guys will live off of an impromptu compliment for a nice shirt they’re wearing…for years!

So drop what you’re doing and text him to call you when he has a few minutes, reassuring him that everything is okay, you just wanna chat…

THEN TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL!!!

Just be yourself and speak from the heart. You will make his day/week/month/year.

[–] WndyLady@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I appreciate your sentiments but whenever I move off from how my car operates or the weather, he does the equivalent of the Midwest lap slap ope. My only chance to get something heartfelt across is via a written note. I'm looking for help on writing that.

[–] _TheNardDog_@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Just write it from the heart, tell him what you're feeling and know that a man that flew halfway across the US to support you will be bowled over by the gesture. There's literally nothing you can say in your message to him that will be wrong if it comes from your heart.

I find poems are nice, but I appreciate it isn't for everyone, but just start with a few lines, 6-8 words in each that describe the picture in your head of how you feel about your dad. Don't worry about rhyming, and punctuate as you'd speak it.

[–] Xallec@discuss.online 1 points 1 year ago

This is a tough one and my brain doesn't want to work right now, but I read your post and wanted to pop in to show my support. Also your dad is awesome for consistently choosing to be your dad every day. 💗