Premier League

Lol, he's a floor magnet for sure.

Irish

90% golden retriever, 10 human.

Part fish since he just flops on land

He is a natural born swimmer like Phelps but stuck in the wrong sport.

Can't judge a fish by how it climbs a tree

One of the great divers of our time.

Water, 35 liters; carbon, 20 kilograms; ammonia, 4 liters; lime, 1.5 kilograms; phosphorus, 800 grams; salt, 250 grams; saltpeter, 100 grams; sulfur, 80 grams; fluorine, 7.5; iron, 5; silicon, 3 grams; and trace amounts of 15 other elements.

You must have missed his best work earlier this season. Somebody slammed a toilet door at the emptihad and he performed a wonderful triple pirouette followed by a downward pike! This was only matched by his ‘phoenix’ like resurrection when no free kick was given!

Mr Tumble

It’s when you get a brown nose on commentary that says “he’s so good at winning free kicks” haha absolute floor magnet always looking for it.

id pay good money to watch him read a Harry Potter book

Alcohol

He's just had a few drinks before the game . Definitely the next Gazza.

I dunno, what are little titty babies made out of?

It's simple, his centre of gravity is in his ankles.

He does get hacked a lot

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Rent free

Everyone bad-mouthed Beckham while he played too. Now they talk about the time they watched "The Legend" play. Just 🤫 & enjoy the show

You must feel some level of embarrassment posting this?

His job is to collect fouls and he’s pretty good at it

I don’t know how anyone can be both that outrageous rich and that good looking as him. Must have done a deal with some entity like Satan or Cthulhu or Sauron.

He has personality. That's why City had to replace him.

It's the pints

He's made of what they remove to make Weebles.

What the fuck have you been smoking mate?

His knee slide with full camera awareness was extra magical.

Just a tip, I wouldn’t say anything like this out loud if you ever attend a premier league game.

He is made of pure silk of the smoothest origin.

He falls like a toddler. It’s convincing. The opposite of Salah, who is a goddamn sumo wrestler

Not sure, what’s the most overpriced and average material going ?

200+ games not even 50 goals.over rated.

He does wear a head band. That explains a lot.

His calves are amazing. (I too have big calves.)

Biggest calves in football but they can't keep him up. Crazy.

As a spurs fan I was impressed by the way he kept his nerve. Kulusevski was out to kill this man the moment he came on the pitch, didn't even phase him though. Grealish could have won the game but got unlucky.

Guinness

I wonder what the other guy is pulling out of Grealish's ass on the first picture