Photography

Have you noticed that you look relaxed and natural in the mirror but rigid in your photos? If the other photos looks natural and yours is not, it’s nothing to do with your photos. That’s how you look all the time. You are used to seeing other people in real life and when you see their photo it looks natural, and other people see you all the time like you are on the photo. Ask them if you look natural or awkward.

People looks really good to themselves in the mirror but that’s not how they look in real life. It’s the same if you record your voice and hear it back. You’ll just have to learn to get over it.

No two photographers work exactly the same. So all we can do is speculate.

I shoot volume headshots, and I rarely have more than 5 minutes to work with someone. You are correct, headshots should be mid-chest up. I personally give a lot of direction, and I also let the subjects choose which image they want to be edited (they get one for volume jobs). The only thing I expect from my subjects is to read my pre-shoot guide (grooming tips mostly) and to listen to my instructions. I wasn't there, so I don't know that you could have done anything differently.

I've found with headshot work that people are often their own worst enemies. A very common scenario is for someone who actually is photogenic (or who at least photographed better than average) to tell me they hate every single photo, and all of their coworkers tell them "THESE ARE THE BEST PHOTOS EVER!!" Or I get folks who immediately proclaim to me that they are not photogenic, ugly, require an immense level of retouching, etc. before the first photo is even taken. It's very hard to achieve something positive in a short time frame when someone immediately dumps a ton of negativity into the situation from the very start. So if you began your interaction with the photographer on the "I'm not photographable" train, then that may have contributed. Otherwise, it's hard to say.

I've had a lot of luck posing people for headshots. Mainly I have them turn their whole body to the right or left then twist to face me. I rarely have subjects face me directly with their shoulders square to me.

There are always people who say they don't like themselves in photos. I kind of feel that way. If they have that look in their eye that they think they'll look bad, I try to distract them. Like asking them to do a complete spin and get them right as they come back around. Once I had a kid do jumping jacks. I have them say funny words like pickle or mommy or my girlfriend or have them intentionally lisp like "Why tho therious?"

You want heavy women to really listen to you? Tell them how to make themselves look skinny in a photo...

If you don't like yourself in photos, its really something you can work on. Look in the mirror and say its showtime or big dick or sexy. Turn sideways from the mirror and only turn your head and neck facing it --that's the way I look best in photos so I always try to pose like that.

Agree that no photographers shoot the same. If you're just doing a shoulder up kind of headshot and don't have a starting point and have to do it super quickly, one foot pointing forward, heels together, turn the other foot around 90 degrees to create an L shape with the feet. Then look back towards the camera. This will result in a turn in the upper body and a slight angle to the face which can work very nicely.

For a more involved shoot I am more likely to try and get them natural, get them to talk to me about something that gives them joy and so on. I'll gently guide them to move aspects of their body that might be working against them but don't want to make it too rigid.

Look up Jerry Ghionis and other posing masters. I like Jerry's concept that you either rebuild a house (pose) from scratch if the person is incredibly awkward, or you renovate (let them do their thing, then alter their pose a little for the camera). I tend to ask people to be comfortable and then renovate rather than start from scratch.

For boudoir work, I generally engage them in conversation and suddenly they realize they're a lot better at posing than they thought they were. But that's over the course of an hour or more, I couldn't imagine trying to get 5 headshots right with that alone.

The right way should be honest verbal posing, paired with the photographer modeling the pose so that you can mirror, and explaining why it looks good.

Honest verbal posing - means telling you which way looks good, which angle does not.

Modeling the pose - the photographer should be able to do what he/she wants you to do, easier to copy what you can already see.

Explaining - it really helps to cancel out what pose do not work, we all have angles that do not look good. The photographer should tell you that. You as a subject should not be offended.

You as the subject should, listen and go with the flow. Adjust your pose one aspect at a time, don't let go of the pose until the photographer tells you to. Breathe, relax your shoulders, feel confident.

This is assuming the photographer knows what he/she is doing.

The best advice I was ever given for portraits is to get someone laughing and amused. If they're having fun, their smile will be more natural and relaxed and, as a result, look more like themselves. A forced smile won't look as natural as one where the person being photographed is enjoying it.

This is a "how do I look better in posed photographs" question, and the answer is still practice. Try out more tutorials.

Have you shown these photos to anybody else to get their opinion?

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I rather demonstrate what I want. Works much better than verbal communication in my experience.