m1 air unless you plan on getting the 512gb version of the m2, both have similar capabilities for the money you are paying. plus the base m2 has an ssd that will feel slower compared to the upgraded m2 air.
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What kind of work? I ask because it may shift my recommendations.
For professional programers or video editors, go with the refurbished M2 Pro.
For basic office work, go with the M2 Air and increase the RAM to 16GB.
8G of ram is plenty for what he'll be using it for, no need for 16G if he won't be doing video editing.
But 16 GB future proofs his laptop and extends it's lifespan.
Would the macboon pro m3 extra 7-800 be worth it?
Not if you don't need it.
Last question is the 256 gb good vs the 512 gb I only use around 115 gb I was reading that the 256 can be slow?
512GB is preferred. The read/write speed on the M2 Air SSD is a bit slower than it should be due to one nan chip. A problem created by the chip shortage of the Covid period. 512GB of SSD corrects this issue.
In my situation doesn’t seem like the 512 gb would be worth it I guess?