This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/JordanWnnR on 2023-07-07 07:01:19+00:00.
Before I start writing this post I'll preface this with the fact that I DO NOT condone suicide and would NEVER intentionally influence someone to even remotely go down that route. With that out of the way, let's get started. I grew up in the republican side of Florida and we have some terms that a lot of people don't have anywhere else. One such term is called a "Suicide" which is essentially when you combine every soda/drink you can at a restaurant. I've never heard it be referenced as anything else and I've always just passively called it a suicide, because that's just what it was called. However I recently moved to Washington state in a much more democratic area and I hadn't even considered that it may be called something else. You probably see where this is going... Now I normally pay rent a month in advance and I've done so since I started renting my room at my parents house a couple years back, however getting started monetarily has been quite the challenge and my roommate's are graciously giving me an extension on the rent. But finally after 30 or 40 interviews I land a job, and a great one at that! I've been really struggling with food and have been having to heavily ration everything I eat until I can get my first paycheck. So when I landed a fast food job I was ecstatic because I knew from previous experience that I'd likely be provided with at least 1 meal a day for free. Finally after weeks of finding and securing a job things are finally starting to look up. It took about a week to get trained and I was working 2 hours a day and finally after being trained I get real on the job experience... But this my intrigued friend is exactly when I unknowingly fucked up. The first real day I worked I met a lot of new people, and out of the blue one of my coworkers asks me what drink they should have (Drinks are free to employees) and without a moments hesitation I said "Oh, well why don't you try a suicide." mentally recalling all the vile sodas I'd drank in the past. And the moment I realized what I had said I knew instantly that I'd fucked up. So I immediately back tracked explaining what I meant and everything seemed fine, everyone was super chill and the rest of the day went on without a hitch (despite some awkwardness between the coworker and I). Two days pass and I'm working my 3rd shift, still on the high of finally turning my situation around I was in super high spirits and so I arrive about an hour early to the shift (I'd been arriving consistently 30 minutes early) and suddenly something's much different. The regional manager and the assistant manager are on staff, but they normally come and go and so I didn't really pay to much attention to it besides mentally remarking on it being a little odd. So the rest of the day goes off without a hitch, and it was a genuinely great day. Up until the last 5 minutes. The assistant manager pulls me aside and tells me "Unfortunately we don't think you're a great fit for our company and you're not moldable enough for what we currently need." a little confused I take it graciously not having a single clue why they would even remotely want to hire me. So I walk back to my apartment complex bewildered and nearly on the verge of tears as I genuinely tried my very best to be the best employee I knew how to be. I'd never been so suddenly rejected from a job and it really fucked with me for the rest of the day. So I get back to my apartment complex and immediately call my parents to ask them what jobs meant by "Moldable" because at this time I have zero clue whatsoever about why they'd fired me. On top of being incredibly bewildered I suddenly realized that all the security that I had suddenly gained from being able to guarantee where my next meal came from was gone and when a generally non-emotional guy starts crying it's fucking bad. Usually when you're fired from a job you know why you were fired whether it be because you were slacking off too much or just not being hygienic. But this I felt I had no control over whatsoever and on top of all this I hadn't slept yet so I was just a little bit more emotional then I normally was. After being essentially rejected after trying my very best I just started panicking which led into a mental breakdown and only after taking a 10-ish hour nap was I able to regain a sense of logic and reasoning so I started running through every single interaction I had made and I came up with this one which was the only thing that really made sense.
TL;DR: Guy asks me for drink recommendation and without thinking I recommend a drink called "Suicide" which then starts chain reaction to me getting fired.