this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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I only tip if someone had to do something to get me that food/experience. Picking up food to take home? No tip. The restaurant makes you get your own food from the counter and do your own refills? No tip. The checkout screen might have a tip, but I'm putting 0.

It's not really your personal responsibility, it's the restaurant owners responsibility. If people aren't getting enough tips in a restaurant where tips are the big draw, and that causes wait staff to quit, the restaurant owner should be paying his people to subsidize that.

15-20% also is not a hard rule. There's a lot of places where I live that try to pass off costlier food in shitty atmosphere (think 30 dollar entrees, but the server sees you twice and it's a "theme" restaurant). If I think someone did well and engaged with us as customers and were pretty good about making suggestions on the menu or being extra attentive to drink refills, then guaranteed they're getting within that 15-20%. Anything less than that, then I as the customer who only gets to make that judgement call off of the limited interaction we have, and you'll get 7-10% or 5 bucks, whichever is bigger.

[–] ergifruit@lemmygrad.ml -1 points 1 year ago (5 children)

you absolutely are the asshole if you don't tip. if you can't afford to tip, then don't eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you're not tipping, you're directly exploiting them.

most servers make under $5 an hour.

This is factually wrong. the minimum wage is the minimum wage. You don't make less because you are a server. The business effectively gets a rebate from the worker on what they make in tips.

If you're not making minimum wage doing a tip-able job then the business is screwing you and you can report them. It's not the customers job to make sure the staff is paid minimum wage. It's the businesses job to track it and pay out if minimum wage isn't met.

[–] christophski 0 points 1 year ago

No, the business is the asshole, not you. But when in Rome, this is the way it is in America so play along, it's not like you're murdering someone

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[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago
[–] solstice@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

I already replied but I just wanted a top level comment regarding:

that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference

That tip expense would be paid either way. There's no difference between charging $9 for a sandwich and tipping $1 vs being charged $10 for the sandwich and no tip. All costs always get passed down to the consumer no matter what, that's just how it works. So it isn't an "extra" expense. It is, was, and always will be in there, one way or another. I agree tipping is weird, inefficient, and difficult to understand, but you're gonna pay no matter what.

[–] mykl@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yes, if you don’t tip they will call you a Canadian or worse.

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[–] MrComradeTaco@lemmy.fmhy.ml -2 points 1 year ago

Grab a gun ASAP maybe you could need it.

[–] ajimix@lemmy.ml -3 points 1 year ago (8 children)

If you look like a tourist you will not have much of a problem. I also live in a country where tipping is never done and when I travel to the US I never tip as I don’t agree with that system and I’m not used to it. Nobody ever told me anything or complained

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[–] Doctor8@infosec.pub -4 points 1 year ago (4 children)

No, you don't have to tip. Really unfortunate that some people rely on tips for their wage, but If you don't tip, you're NTA.

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[–] Zengen@social.fossware.space -5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honestly dude if you cant afford to tip. You have no business eating out in america. As a former tip worker, ya they us about 5$ an hour BECAUSE the workers make up for it in tips. and thats a big IF. theirs no obligation on the employer to make sure that they actually come up positive. and Ultimately if you dont tip because you dont agree with tipping? You just forced one of the poorest members of our country to serve you for literally 3$ which quite honestly? kinda makes you a piece of shit if you do that.

[–] lom@sh.itjust.works -5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OP is probably American and trying to start a discussion. Just accept it as now things are done here and move on. It's really not that bad if you expect it

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