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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/blair43 on 2023-09-16 14:30:36.
I (41M) was dating a girl (35F) for 2 years. We started dating just before the covid lockdowns and I moved to the country she was living in to be with her. My bank account and work permit were not fully sorted when everything shut down so my salary was paid into her account.
We both ended up losing our jobs so went together to my country and lived there. While we were in my home I paid for everything and the spoken understanding was that she would pay me back (she is a professional with money, more than me).
After 2 years the pressure of everything was too much and I left her and she agreed that she would pay me back 20,000 dollars (my salary and living costs). Since the day I left her she hasn't replied to any messages and hasn't paid me back. I have spoken to lawyers who suggested I email her contacts to find out her whereabouts to begin legal procedures.
I am debating whether I email all of her family members, friends and past and present employers explaining the situation and that I need to contact her with a court summons.
She is a very private person and would be horrified by this but after no contact for almost 2 years I am at a loss of what else to do. WIBTA?
Edit to add - we were both assholes at the end of the relationship and it ended on bitter terms. I kinda bailed on her and I know that I could have handled things in a better way and her ego was super hurt.
Edit again - we are pretty International people and from different countries. She was paid my salary in one country, we are now both in other countries. Basically a laywer has said it will be very difficult due to laws of different countries and neither of us are from USA so suing people isnt really a thing in our respective countries. No contracts were signed and it is all her word against mine hence I want to take her to court.
Also shaming on social media in the title is actually incorrect on my part. I would individually make contact with everyone I know who is connected to her explaining the situation and try to gather her whereabouts. I have a fair idea where she is and where she works but no proof.