Futurama

"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"

"What really killed the dinosaurs?" " ME!!! "

"But you're better than normal! You're abnormal!"

I can wire anything directly into anything! I'M THE PROFESSOR!

I could do without these boobs flopping about

She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!

Wait, I'm having one of those things, you know, a headache with pictures.

(destructive noises) Buddha, Zeus, God, one of you guys, do something! Satan, you owe me!

They say the key to any successful battle is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!

My absolute favorite: You win again, gravity!

"wooooooooo"

"I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity, the way only a woman can."

"You're going to do his laundry?"

Edit - the one that had me literally rolling off the couch because I was laughing so hard was, "That just raises further questions!"

"What are those disgusting creatures?"

"Those are the Grungalungas."

"Tell them i hate them."

Professor: Your tux doesn't fit because you stole it from a boy.

Bender: You mean a man. It was his Bar Mitzvah.

"What about what?" - Philip J Fry responding to the professor yelling WHAT in a tiny ship in Fry's ear when the professor and crew controlled tiny robot versions of themselves to sneak inside Fry's body

You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

"You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music'

"I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo."

Thus global warming was solved, once and for all.
But....
Once And For All.

No I'm... doesn't!

🎵We're whalers on the moon,

We carry a harpoon,

But there ain't no whales,

So we tell tall tales,

And sing this whalin' tune! 🎵

I'll start my own amusement park with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack.

So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?

No... just the two...

What makes a man turn neutral?

“Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?”

Good news! It's a suppository!

Don't you worry about Planet Express

Let me worry about blank.

"If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kiff?"
―Zapp

"[Sigh] "Sexlexia""
―Kiff

Not exactly an iconic line, but I love the delivery:

"Have you heard of the Monks of Deshuba?"

Fry: "I've... not heard of them."

Futurama's great for nerdy science gags, social satire, and pop culture spoofs, but its best jokes are always uniquely stupid twists of language like this.

I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

Tie between:

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome

angry muttering as the PES flies away

and

Well Susie, it isn't foreigners, it's global warming

Gwabu wabu?

Uh, sure...

The one I use most often: "I've heard worse excuses to drink".

I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

This isn't a productive area of discussion.

MY LEG FEELS FUNNY

...

MY LEG FEELS BETTER

I sublibed with obly tribial blain dabblage.

There's not a restaurant built that I can't fly - Zap Brannigan

My lead pipe hurts.