Hello all beings of the fediverse. I wanted to discuss something that may be hard for some but has recently come to my doorstep. My father-in-law has been fighting a terminal illness for quite some time. He's elderly and just recently took a turn for the worse physical and mentally. Prior to this he was still able to live independently, although unable to drive and had meals provided.
Since his recent decline and visit to the hospital, he is no longer able to make appropriate decisions and he can barely get around without full-time assistance. His appetite is greatly decreased as well as his fluid intake. He sleeps most of the day.
Prior to this, he had made his wishes known and decided that if he were to get to such a state, we would have hospice care. Well, that reality has come. I am thankful my husband and his sister are able to care for him throughout the day and we have nursing assistants coming over to help, especially as he declines and becomes unable to make it to the bathroom or even turn himself because he will become increasingly weak throughout the rest of his time.
Although I prefer my privacy, we have agreed to move him in with us, as I feel it is only fair for him to be cared for with dignity and be amongst loved ones.
I am a nurse by profession and have experienced many patients in their twilight. Many families want "everything" to be done for 90 year old Nana who is frail and fragile. I personally don't like doing CPR on any patient, but knowingly I will break Nana's ribs and if we do manage to get her back, chances are she will be on a breathing tube and likely have brain damage. She also will likely not be able to eat and will need additional tubes to provide nutrition as her muscles continue to atrophy. Hopefully there will be enough staff to keep her cleaned and turned as the boney areas get worn from friction, heat, moisture, lack of blood flow, and time creating bed sores. I have seen way too many of those. Once even so big you could fit your fist in each buttock cheek.
Getting back on track... Just curious how you envision caring for your loved ones when the time comes? What does your culture do in these times? How would you like your death to be?
Please stick to serious and thoughtful replies. This is a touchy subject for many but it is an inevitably for us all.