Is anyone in the same position or had the same experience and what helped? Now that we bought the house and have a debt I can't easily get back to where I came from in the near future. Lucky enough though it's only a 8 minute drive (the town I use to live in is about 5 miles away from where I live now).

I think a big part of my thoughts circling is that I grew up in the other town and know all the people and in the town I now live in I barely know anyone... I can't explain they aren't unfriendly, infact most are welcoming and friendly, but have different interests than I do.

My old town had a nice lake that was a 5 minute walk. Now I can't even walk to the lake anymore and even by bike it is about 30 minutes away.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

Forgive my ignorance...but if it's only an 8 minute drive, why can't you continue to visit your old haunts?

[–] Hossenfeffer 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Lucky enough though it's only a 8 minute drive (the town I use to live in is about 5 miles away from where I live now).

Wait, what?

Shit, man, I live a full day’s drive from where I grew up. You’re still almost in the same neighborhood.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

So still pretty close?

I'm a 21 hour flight away from my home town.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

8 minute drive is still quite close. I'm 45 min from my first place, much harder to get to.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 months ago

8 minutes? You're still basically in the same town!

I moved from my hometown to one that is a 5-6 hour drive away. It's not a big deal. You find new places to hang out, new places to walk, new people to hang out with.

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Three months ago I moved from a comfy suburb in Illinois to a podunk town in Connecticut. I used to be able to walk out the door and go jogging even late at night to and around the nearby park. Now it's just woods and rundown roads with no sidewalks outside my house.

To make it extra challenging, the house we bought is a fixer-upper so even the living conditions inside were hard. We're slowly making it better, but there were many tears shed as I adjusted.

What helped is to keep busy. I got a job and just focused on one thing at a time. We still have a long way to go with the house, and I've gained 15lbs not being able to run outside, but I'm in a better place mentally as at least now I can cook, there's a clean bathroom to take a bath and shit in, and I can finally do laundry with my own washer. It's the little things that I cling to.

[–] vxx@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can't you make it your mission to hack a path into the woods that allows you to run?

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I took these pics last Saturday from my living room:

[–] vxx@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Uhm, okay, forget what I said.

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 7 points 3 months ago

Haha, yeah, it's pretty dense woods. Also taken from the living room but different window:

[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I first moved away when I was 18. I ended up 8 hours away because of studies. Later I lived in a town 45 minutes away from where I grew up. I have since them moved to other countries, some close, some distant. I am now 41, and I live 13 a hours drive away from where I grew up.

I have moved because of jobs. I've moved because of girlfriends. I've moved because of a sense of adventure, and simply of the belief that a change of location will make everything so much different and better.

And if there's one thing I've learned after all of this, it is that simply moving place will rarely make things better or worse for you on its own. Because no matter how much or how far you move, you will never move away from yourself.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

wherever you go, there you are. -Buckaroo Banzai

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago

8 minute drive what in the fuck

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

I bet it will get better over time. Keep socializing and learing new things. The lake might be more of a journey but there could be other interesting things you haven't discovered close by.

It'll never be quite the same and it's okay to miss where you've been. But a different place isn't neccesarily a bad place.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I moved to a small town in northern Ontario and the only thing that made it better was moving back. God what a depressing place. The only thing that helped was therapy. I'm sorry OP.

[–] Dud@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like it's time to start searching for things in your town that align with your interests and meet people doing that, or perhaps start talking with these friendly people and start probing them about these hobbies you don't share.

You can't really continue the old ways in a new place, you have to meet at a middle point. You also can't expect this strange new place to cater to you when you're technically the outsider with a different viewpoint. Acclimate, take it as a good chance to branch out, and eventually start introducing your own views and ideas otherwise you'll just keep walling yourself off.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

start probing them about these hobbies you don’t share.

Want to emphasize this. A lot of things that sound kind of boring in the abstract, are actually a lot of fun when you're doing them with other people.

[–] overcast5348@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I am 24 hours and 2 flights away from my hometown. I miss it every single day. I'm "stuck" in the new city till I can pay off my mortgage, at the very least. I try to make the most of what's here and just remind myself of all the reasons why I moved in the first place.