this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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Basically what it says on the tin. Having read though some of the materials on the issue, I am baffled by how recklessly the word is used, given the consequences of such usage.

Pedophiles are the people with sexual attraction to prepubescent children. It doesn't matter whether they do or don't act on that attraction; in fact, many don't. It is a sexual interest/mental condition that cannot be reliably changed.

Child molesters, on the other hand, are not necessarily pedophiles - in fact, 50 to 75% of child molesters do not have pedophilic interest.

Both facts can be sourced from the respective Wikipedia article and more info can be found in respective research.

Why does this matter?

Because the current use of the word reinforces stigma around pedophilia and makes it less likely for people with pedophilic disorder to reach out for help for the fear they would be outed and treated the same as actual child abusers.

This, in turn, makes those in a vulnerable position more likely to cross the line and get into the category of child abusers instead of coming for help. Also, it heavily affects people who did nothing to deserve such treatment.

What should we do?

We should leave the word "pedophile" to the context in which it belongs, which is the mental health and sexuality spheres, and avoid using the term to describe sexual offenders against minors. At the very least, one would most likely be wrong. At most, one would participate in the cycle of child abuse.

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[–] wintermute_oregon@lemm.ee 74 points 4 months ago (22 children)

Agreed. This is a pet peeve of mine. Pedophilia is not a crime. Child molestation is a crime. It makes it hard for pedophiles to get the treatment they need and we lose focus on the real danger, people who actually touch children.

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[–] JonsJava@lemmy.world 44 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is a prime example of what the community is about.

With that said, advocating violence (read: not justice) will not be tolerated. Vigilante mindsets will not be allowed.

Really getting tired of removing comments calling for death. Advocate for strict justice, not death itself.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Thank you for your efforts!

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 40 points 4 months ago (5 children)

If one assumes that merely by being a pedophile someone is danger to kids then by the same logic being a heterosexual is a danger to the opposite sex.

Most people in jail for raping children are "normal" rapists with no specific interest towards kids. They're just an easy target. Being able to rape someone requires a special kind of twisted mind. Just being sexually interested about it alone in general isn't enough. Many people have sexual interests they're not going to pursue for moral reasons. Pedophiles can and usually do have morals as well.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 15 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I think your conclusion here is a sound one, but I don't know if the logic works. Because for a heterosexual teleiophile, there are multiple legitimate avenues for outlet. Paedophiles do not have any legitimate outlets that don't cause harm.

[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

What is that argument? Do you need an "outlet" or you'll eventually become a rapist? I think many people spend years/decades without sex and they don't suddenly become unstable.

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[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My unpopular opinion is that pedophilia is a paraphilia and not necessarily a mental condition, even though some cases do manifest that way. But maybe I'm wrong. Please, go easy with the lynching.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

True!

Pedophilia by itself is not considered to be a disorder starting with DSM-V/ICD-11.

However, if pedophilic thoughts cause distress or may lead to dangerous behaviors, it is seen as a pedophilic disorder, which remains in both medical classifications.

Should have made this point clear.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Should have made this point clear

Oh, not at all! I just felt like stirring up some controversy 😈 But thanks for clarifying anyway!

[–] GrundlButter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Wow, this one got me. Top tier unpopular opinion.

You lay out pretty good points, mostly in terms of specificity.

And then you continue pointing out that there's likely no choice for a pedophile, and that they're not abusers until they abuse someone. And hey, I can get on board with that.

But man, if you really think that there shouldn't be a severe social stigma attached to pedophilia, then I really gotta disagree with you there. This should be something a person should only feel comfortable talking about with their doctor, close loved ones, or anonymously like you're doing here. There should be no stigma attached to getting help, but this isn't fun facts about yourself you should share with others.

If this is you, get help. And if you are getting help, I am honestly glad for you. But please don't ever think that anyone outside of professionals, loved ones, and other pedophiles is ever going to not have a visceral reaction to the revelation that you are attracted to kids. It is an appropriate defense mechanism meant to attempt to separate potential victims from their potential abusers.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 33 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm not one, but yes, pedophiles should absolutely reach out for help if possible and if they need any. I'mma play it open - I had a close person of mine opening up to me, and I did my best to research before proceeding.

I think it should be treated like "wow, okay. Hope you know that abusing children is bad, and if so, I'm here with you".

It shouldn't be a fun fact, but it shouldn't be "you sicko pervert let me shoot you" kind of situation.

[–] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

I think you contradict yourself here. You say there should be a stigma about having these thoughts but then say people should get help and not be stigmatized for it.

If there is a stigmatization about it, then that is going to keep people from bringing it up and getting help due to fear of being attacked either physically, financially, or emotionally.

[–] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for this post. I think you've expressed your thoughts very well.

An additional benefit to a well thought out and nuanced post like this is being able to block people who don't think things through and wouldn't be able to grasp nuance even if it was slathered in Gorilla Glue.

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[–] admiralpatrick@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Good truly unpopular opinion, and mostly good discussion on the points made. That said, I think pretty much all the points that were going to be made have been made. Locking thread.

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