traingang

Battle of Stalingrad is being held on the street with a pride flag painted on it. The local cafes and bars have closed the security shutters while pedestrians and bikers battle it out like it’s the warriors. A battalion of e-scooters have been thrown into the local river, Mark lost his penjamin, there has not been this much infighting between local hipster douchebags since the original hipster subculture split in 2010 and half of them all became racist and the other half gay, you can tell which is which by the flannel they are wearing. The grub hub driver who is too alienated to deal with this shit walks through violent mobs of redditors just trying to not get fired. A Karen and her kids in a Prius are dragged out of their cars and are lynched like Mussolini. One restaurant attempts to extend the outdoor patio to other side of the street. Various rainbow painted boulders are placed in the spots homeless people sleep at night. It’s absolute chaos and pandemonium on the street young professionals struggle to afford and various journalists online regurgitate uncritical support for one side or the other to the masses who all find that this chaz 2.0 knockoff is stupider than what it was about last time, and many people decide from that point forward to avoid Portland in the future.