Gaming

I’m closer to 40 than 30, and I play video games basically every day. My spouse is super supportive. The only thing that’s changed is that I don’t play PC games unless it’s on my steam deck, because I already spend too much time at a desk working. But I have a PS5 that I finally bought a racing wheel for, and Ive been logging tons of hours on TOTK.

Basically, find someone who appreciates you and your hobbies. Being a gamer isn’t a bad one, despite what those of us that grew up adjacent to Gen X might think.

There's absolutely no age cut off for video games. I would even go further and say that more seniors should play video games.

But, I also wouldn't be too judgy with people who think video games are for kids. This is all thanks to decades of marketing. Atari, the first popular video game console, was sold along side TVs and other electronics and was targeted towards everyone. But then Nintendo decided to market their console as a toy, instead of a consumer electronics product. Also, they had to pick a "boy" vs "girl" aisle, and they picked "boy", which is why video games aren't seen as girly.

You hit it yesterday. A squad has been dispatched to retrieve your computer. I'm sorry.

I don't think there's one. Still, I find it a bit funny thinking of myself and my partner sitting next to each other, each on our own gaming PC, once we're old (or should I say older, yikes the 90s really were almost 30 years ago...)

I’m 40, but I play online with quite a few people who are my age or older. On the dating scene, I wouldn’t know because I’ve been married 19 years, but I’d guess that there is some reluctance from women (especially those who don’t also play) to have a partner who would fit the stereotypical “gamer ignoring his girlfriend” or dude who’s a misogynistic dick online who uses games as a way to flex his imaginary hyper masculinity.

My move has always been, and will always be, to prioritize people in the room, especially her, when I’m in the headset. If that means we lose, we lose. It’s just a game (though I love them and often get totally immersed). Most of my longtime gaming friends with families (I have two kids as well) completely understand, and I do the same when they have IRL interruptions.

As for if there’s a cutoff? HELL NO.

As for if there’s a generational gap? Hell yes…but I’d say you’re just at the bleeding edge. Keep doing you and looking for like minded people and you’ll just be the oldest of the “Old Man League Bball team, Videogames Edition”. My crew loves our version of that guy… and so does his long time partner. 🙂

Yeah i'm in my 30s and still enjoy playing games, nice way to relax at the end of the day.

Related question though: any good Minecraft channels on youtube that aren't made for children? I'm just starting to get in to minecraft now and it's been super fun, but the youtube playthroughs I've been looking at have all been...seeming to not be catering to an audience my age, to put it politely.

I am almost 40 also, and game alot. One thing to remember that our generation is the first to actually game their whole life, nes etc made gaming popular.

Older generations haven't had mainstream gaming, so it is wierd to think people born in 50-60 to game, because games didn't exist when they were young. We on the other hand have grown with the games.

So I think from ten year on, it will be normal to have LAN parties in your elderly home.

Never too old and if anyone says it is just ignore them, not their life to dictate. I will never understand why anyone would give up what they find fun because someone else finds it silly or 'not socially acceptable'. Its just them trying to press their own opinions of whats acceptable like its a fact.

I'll never stop gaming, if someone didn't like that to the point they judge me or try and tell me to stop its not a person I'd care to be friends with or talk to anyways. I'm not that old but when I was younger I got berated all the time for gaming, very glad I ignored all that nonsense and kept doing what I enjoyed. I've got a good career path out of it and friends I met online through gaming who now live close by.

There's no cutoff. Find a better dating pool.

Early forties here. Also grew up with the Spectrum. In my admittedly slightly nerdy friend circle it's completely normal. People always talking about interesting games in just the same way as they would movies. People playing games with their kids. Lots of talk about Tears of the Kingdom at our last gathering. I assume for younger people it's even more normal.

All this is to say, I don't think there's a static absolute age cut-off. I think we're probably the first generation that will see a substantial portion continue to identify as small-g 'gamers' well into retirement. If they're is a (moving, getting older) age cut-off, at 47 now, maybe you're just on the upper side of the tipping point?

Don't know what to say that hasn't already been covered in five pages of comments, but don't date people who denigrate your hobbies. There's no "age cutoff" for enjoying the things you enjoy. You don't just stop enjoying things after a certain arbitrary age threshold.

The old view of adulthood as being a time of constant misery, struggle, and hardship, in which every moment of enjoyment you manage to claw from it is a moment stolen from the future, which will be replaced by further misery, is fucking stupid. Do what makes you happy, and ditch the Karens.

I feel like several things are intersecting here:

1. PC gaming took off in the 90s. I'm not clear on the history of consoles but I'm wondering if they became widespread in the 80s? Having these devices at home probably created a larger generation of gamers.

2. Gaming was "for boys" until very recently, and tbh the inclusion of women as the default audience for games is still a work in progress. Game protagonists are usually male, romance options usually assume the player is a straight man, even the quests and the way NPCs are written are colored by these assumptions.

3. Video games have gotten so much more complex in a very short amount of time. The storylines are richer, the writing and visual effects have gotten signifixlcantly better. Someone who has only experienced early arcade games or clicker mobile games wouldn't see gaming in general as a worthy hobby for adults.

The discussions about gaming (you're too old / it's for kids etc.) really shit me. If you want to talk about volume of screentime, that's perfectly reasonable. But if I chose to game instead of watch a movie / sports game / be on my phone, then that's my choice.

When you get bored lol

There is zero age cutoff. Absolutely none.

I think what you are experiencing is a generational cut off, from people born before certain time where video games hasn't permeated into pop culture long enough.

It's becoming more accepted. I have a few friends in their 40s who are the biggest gamers I know. You may be on the edge of what might be seen as an "acceptable " age, but it is very common for adults. I can see how dating might bring out the judgement in some people, but you shouldn't have to repress that part of yourself, especially since you do it with your kids. As it becomes more and more common many people won't stop doing something they loved doing their whole lives.

I hope not. I'm almost 50. But I'm not in the dating pool. I feel for anyone trying to date at our age. Better to be who you are though.

37 year old gamer here, time to start dating 20-somethings 😉

I'm mid thirties myself and games are what I grew up with and it's how I like to enjoy my storytelling. I think it's entirely lost on some people how different games are as a media. My SO and I have had chats about it and she understands that it's a whole different experience than a movie or tv and appreciates my enthusiasm for truly great games.

I can totally understand that some people just don't jive with games but I'm so grateful my SO tolerates my gaming even though she doesn't partake much herself.

I feel no pressure to stop so I don't see myself stopping gaming anytime soon. You just need to find the right one, they don't even need to like games, they just need to like you as a person.

Not anywhere near your age, but I believe that you honestly don't need to pay attention to any kind of "cutoff" age for video games. At your age, people don't really get to dictate how interesting your hobbies are to you, you're an adult with children, and your interests are your own. If playing games is a dealbreaker for women, then it's really just the tip of the iceberg of problems a relationship with her might have. There is no cutoff for liking the things you like, and if people aren't adult enough to see that, you can move on from them.

I'm 63, a woman, and I play games. <shrug>

I think it's a position that often comes from ignorance. Usually these people have no concept that games can involve high quality character and plot writing like Mass Effect, or teamwork focused gaming situations like MMO raids. They either never had any exposure to games or decided early on (usually in adolescence) that games weren't for them.

Ironically there's often a lot of overlap between game haters and people who spend more hours in front of the TV than most of us do gaming.

I am a 55 year old gamer, and I'll probably be gaming until I die. It's entirely up to you.

While I do think there's probably more younger people across the spectrum playing games than older folk, I still think you can find the person you're looking for. It's definitely become more socially acceptable I think for younger generations it's just become a more normal thing integrated into social life. Oh we can't go out? I'm down for some Minecraft or Animal Crossing, etc. I've known lots of women over the years that were "cool" and "attractive" but were heavy into video games. Older folk in general skew towards thinking they are damaging or juvenile. We had recently pitched a club at my library district, but once it reached the older board people, they didn't understand why one would even pose the idea in such an "institution," totally missing why gaming can be an incredibly nourishing hobby for everyone in some form. But yeah, even at my job I tend to find most older women roll their eyes at the thought of video games (I work with mostly middle aged women 40-60 with a few younger aged folk sprinkled in there). Games as a hobby has become more progressive aiming for all sorts of people, Fortnite, Roblox, Minecraft, etc. have all broken down a lot of walls for younger generations. Obviously misogyny is gonna still exist thanks to how early gaming marketing skewed perspective of video games as well as shooters and their tone being heavily ostracizing to women. Games like Fortnite let you gun down Goku as Ariana Grande, and shit like that does go a long ways to reaching different people.

Also things like the Last of Us have done lots to away perception away from games being overtly masculine and edgy, to telling serious stories with mature/complex themes. The fact that show got a HBO series that reached many "non gamers" is huge. Whether or not you think it's good for the overall health of what games are is a different topic, but I think there is such massive spectrum now from mobile, to indie, to AAA, to community run live service games, etc. that nowadays there's an ocean of people who don't have a weird perception of gaming like the 90's and early 2000s and that will continue to change and get better as generations progress.

Sorry if this feels a bit off topic, wasn't super related to dating. As others have said, it's good to have hobby diversity, if your one and only deep interest is video games as a grown ass adult, women will be skeptical. Especially if they're seeking a partner for life. Being able to cook, clean, talk about different things, engage with different hobbies in general gives you more appeal to a wider pool of people. There's a reason why the typical "gamer" has a non date able perception, and that's because they wear as a badge for their entire identity. It's the nerd equivalent of being a truck dude who rocks Ford as the face of their identity.

Stealing my old comment from the place that shall not be named in response to a similar question asked there by someone in a comparable situation to share here due to relevancy - A person had replied to the OP question declaring that "women didn't respect men's hobbies" so I said :

Perhaps there is a more useful way to frame things…

How about instead :

“It’s somewhat common for people with some level of disfunction within their intimate relationships to be okay living their entire lives with a partner essentially dictating what is ‘acceptable’ in their lives together in such a way that is uncompromising for said other partner - who then feels like they are not deserving of the things that make them happy. This is unhealthy as it builds resentment and encourages dishonesty and ‘going around’ set boundaries only really agreed upon by one party.”

The takeaway should not be : “Women have no respect for men’s hobbies.”

There are plenty of women who love games, and plenty of men who don’t.

The takeaway should be : “Partners in an intimate relationship should have enough love and respect for one another that they can truly find middle ground with issues they disagree on - while at the same time trying to better empathize, communicate, and enrich each others’ lives. If you and your partner disagree on where gaming should be as an aspect of your personal hobbies and interests, a reasonable compromise should be discussed.”

I am a guy at the same age. My spouse doesn’t really game much… but we have our video games in the living room, as that allows me to enjoy our home theater setup for single player type and online multiplayer gaming between my fellow parent gamers and myself, while also allowing us as a family to play certain games like Mario Kart and Castle Crashers together across seating that is comfortable and roomy.

My partner loves me and wants me to be happy. And I want them to be happy. If you aren’t happy with the arrangement currently set… talk about it. If they can’t meet you in the middle… then decide if it’s worth it to continue discussing it or not and go forward.

Really that’s a foundational aspect of healthy relationships… communication, respect, and a hope that you help make the other happy and feel supported.

A relationship without that foundation will likely eventually fail.

If anything, playing games keeps your mind into complex entertainment which should keep the brain young. Sure beats just mindlessly watching TV all day though just make sure you still touch grass every once in awhile.

Close to 40 here and game is life.

If I meet someone new and they don't game I'm like "oh." and ask them politely, yet firmly to leave.

There is no socially unacceptable age to be gaming. I am an adult and I love playing video games with my kids and nieces and nephews. As a kid growing up, I played games with my adult relatives, granted these were mainly card and board games, but these were the games they grew up with in the 1940-1960's. I have co-workers and employees that are also gamers.