Lol, this has clearly been translated from Dutch in its entirety - the title, the snippet of the article and the tweet.
this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
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Swans are fucking berserk. I got attacked by one once and wouldn't survive if it wasn't a kid.
Damn children attacking innocent swimmers just minding their own business! I'd do the same as this guy if it happened to me!
Everytime I get into a fight I aways tell myself 'I would've fucked him up if he was a child.'
Is he saying a child wouldn’t have survived against the swan or that he himself could easily kill a child?
That'sTheJoke.jpg
it's 2024, let's drop jpg already... Both thatsthejoke.exr and thatsthejoke.jpegxl can have several layers, as well as better punch thanks to higher bit depth
yes
Whoosh
I believe child would not have surviver offence nor defence
I don't get it. Just grab em by the neck and go plap plap plap.
It was probably an urban swan. They grow up tougher; living on the street, dealing with gang life, dancing the ballet.
Drinking 40s, doing crack
plap plap plap
Good old "I could beat a bear in a fight, I've watched a bunch of youtube" internet argument
If a bear was the size of a swan and had a long, easily wrung neck then yeah this would compare.
I grew up on a farm and this was the ultimate defense against geese.
They are much lighter than you, so if you can get them off the ground (neck or feet ideally) they can't do anything
Swans are freaking big, especially the males, so this would not work as well as with geese. Swans don't fuck around.
judging by the wetsuit, i assume he was in the water when he attacked the swan. swans can be very deadly in water...
I‘m not entirely sure, but I think a swan can break bones by hitting with its wings. So it might be not as easy as grabbing the neck
Swans bones are less strong and dense that yours unless you've got osteoporosis or maybe are, like, two. Think the whole thing about a swan breaking a bone is pretty much urban myth - I remember looking for a single reported instance of it happening once and giving up after an hour or so
A lot of people don't know this, but swans make great floatation devices.