Follow up pro tip: only do this if you want war with Italy. Every time someone breaks a spaghetto, an Italian person dies.
this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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My favorite grocery store sells “pot-ready spaghetti noodles” which are half the length of normal ones. I think Italy’s declaration of war is a foregone conclusion at this point
I mean, who decided that spaghetti noodles had to be that long anyway? What if I go to Italy and start selling spaghetti noodles that are 2m long? When will they admit that its fin to snappa the spaghetta?
Super long spaghetti noodles are dried in coils and are pretty fancy.
It's harder to pick up broken or shorter spaghetti with a fork. If you break them up real small and make chicken noodle soup that you eat with a spoon - that's fine. Italians do that as well.
Protip, you can cook regular spaghetti noodles in a big pan. You only need enough water to cover the noodles and it's way faster than boiling a lake's worth of water in a pot and doing the whole "try to fold the pasta into the water as fast as possible so it cooks evenly" dance.
You can leave them full length with only a third of the length in the water, they quickly soften and slump and the rest can be immersed
Did you know they don’t eat garlic bread in Italy?
Ergo, “Italian Food” in America is better than food in Italy. They have to take us out as a matter of self defense
What if after it's cooked you just cut it up with scissors?
deeply saddened italian noises
My wife showed me the Instagram page of an American woman who was married to an Italian guy. She would fuck with him for content. The one where she breaks spaghetti in half before throwing it into the water is hilarious, he flips his shit
If you ever find yourself in a war against Italy, breaking a bundle of spaghetti will send out a shockwave which causes any Italian in a 3 km radius to fall into cardiac arrest.
If that fails put pineapple on pizza
Easy there Hitler
It will only kill 99.9% of italians. The survivors, if there are any, will be alerted and rapidly approach your position. At this point, suicide will be the only way out
Shreddi Spaghetti
Never forghetti
Maybe a little forgetti, as a treat
Yummy cordite-pasta 😋
It's called Corditini
!Subscribe to Italian Defense Tips
Salted with a little extra lead in case you're not retarded enough already
also a good place to hide the weed. 😁
About the same amount of calories as in gun powder. Should work just fine.
Nice try, gluten
This just makes me think the soldier isn't intending to shoot anyone anyway, say if he's more sympathetic to the local civilians than his political masters.
And if I recall correctly, American troopers often made more friends with chocolate and beanie babies than with bullets.