Sounds like a pihole on your network would solve all of your issues.
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as for video editing, i've been using flowblade recently, it's been pretty good for putting together more basic edits.
You should install it using flatpak and only update when you have no more active projects (for the moment it seems updates partially break older saves)
pcmanfm has been pretty solid, i really recommend learning CLI file management though, it's universal and super convenient for the basic things.
pretty done with Bill’s fetishes about bing and ai.
I agree with all your points, but Bill Gates has no agency on the company's decisions these days. Blame Satya.
Gimp and Blender are both available on Linux. VS Code is on Linux (most coding stuff is on Linux). Linux file explorers work pretty well (Dolphin, for example). I’d recommend Kubuntu, KDE neon or Linux Mint for the distro, all are pretty similar in appearance to Windows. It won’t take much learning with them.
Re edit: That combined with double touch screens made me think this was all a shit post lol
Resolve works on on linix but make sure you check that your codecs are supported.
I'm not a graphics designer and idk any of the graphics related apps you listed except gimp but everything should work fine as long as it have a native Linux version. You may need to replace Davinci with something else though because it can be a pain to get working on Linux.
For distros, I'd recommend Mint because it's just pretty much the most beginner-friendly one you can get and it's quite conservative but it has very old drivers so performance may not be the best, EndeavourOS (based on Arch btw but quite stable) if you have very very recent hardware or if you want newest performance optimizations (driver versions) and Pop!_OS if you have an NVidia GPU. I wouldn't recommend Fedora or Ubuntu because the first one rushes major bleeding edge changes (including AI) and the second one is known for some questionable choices (including ads and pushing proprietary app stores with poor moderation).
P. S. We do not like clickbait or any other kinds of bait here. Please follow the rules of ethical posting
"We do not like clickbait"
Who gave you the authority to speak in the name of the community exactly?