this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 123 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

"Accidentally"

The List

  1. Danny Devito
  2. Danny Devito
  3. Danny Devito
[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 72 points 6 months ago

Oops. I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 91 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Apparently, some women are making comprehensive "sex lists" on their phones, i.e. writing down everyone they've ever slept with.

What?

Also here's my list:

[–] tabris@lemmy.world 48 points 6 months ago (3 children)

As a gay man, most of my list doesn't have names. Why would I remember their names? Some I didn't even ask.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 50 points 6 months ago (8 children)
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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

I'm a straight man, but I used to work for a shitty hotel. One year they had a gay leather convention. So the hotel was sold out from out of state gay men wearing leather.

Well, I saw the greatest moment in hookup history. I was checking some guy into his room. Another guy says "Hi, I'm Tom. Are you single, and ready to play?"

And the other guy said "No. I have many boyfriends, but we're all ready to play. Come up to room 215, and bring friends. We'll make it the best room in the whole hotel!"

Which quite frankly is absurd. Room 215 is generic on it's BEST day! It's no room 321, that's for sure!

Still though. I watched a guy go from "Hi, my name is...." to ".....and thats the orgy we're hosting!" All in 2 sentences. And it was SMOOTH!!! Even I was like "Damn....I should check out this orgy......oh, right........it's all guys."

When you see how efficent that orgy proposal was, even the Germans are impressed.

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[–] totally_notAcat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Oh wow I have the same list.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I have a list like that. It's important to keep track. because I want to remember things for the sake of remembering them. If I don't write them down I will forget. also when someone asks you how many people you've slept with, you will have the number readily available.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 15 points 6 months ago (5 children)

I just keep an integer and update it each time.

Sometimes I have to decrement it. Those aren’t the best days.

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[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

You say there is a data literacy problem underlying data security?

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[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 84 points 6 months ago (6 children)

People keep sex lists? The hell?

[–] Pringles@lemm.ee 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I had a friend at university who was in quite a long relationship who kept a list of people she wanted to sleep with in case they broke up. So when they eventually had a break up, she postponed getting back together until she had cleared the list, which took her about two months. I was not on the list, in case you're wondering, nor did I want to.

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago (2 children)

For real? That’s both sad and creepy.

I hope the other person in the relationship bailed for their own sake.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (9 children)

That’s both sad and creepy.

How is it either of those things? Let people fuck who they want to fuck as long as it is consentual, who cares?

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 41 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (10 children)

“Hey babe. I made a mistake. I want to get back together.”

“Sure no problem! Me too! I just need to plow through this list of dudes I’m gonna fuck first.”

Seems like an awfully shitty thing to do to someone that’s genuinely interested in you.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

You cheat on someone: you're a worthless piece of shit.

You don't get back together with someone because you want to have sex with other people first: you're sad and creepy.

One can never win when it comes to sex in a puritanical society, unless they very faithfully only have sex with one person.

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[–] viking@infosec.pub 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm more curious if it's a to-do or have-done list.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

You know, you could just read the article.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 15 points 6 months ago

Bah. Hogwash.

[–] viking@infosec.pub 3 points 6 months ago

I read the auto-summary, which didn't mention it. Guess the bot isn't perfect.

I try not to visit websites that have 100+ trackers installed. Naturally I block them, but I don't even want to give them the traffic.

[–] Bremmy@lemmy.ml 13 points 6 months ago
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but not on fucking paper like an idiot!
You keep that list stored in your mind palace's secret vault.

[–] sebinspace@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Secret? Mandy Moore and Ann Kendrick. There, you have my list.

[–] tegs_terry 5 points 6 months ago

Gotta make sure I don't bang the same hoor, Chaalie!

[–] Hossenfeffer 4 points 6 months ago

Oh course, but you're coming off mine with that attitude, buddy!

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 60 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] ZeroCool@vger.social 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The B.A.R.R.Y.M.O.R.E. System

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 28 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The D.R.E.W. system

be D.irected by D.anny D.eVito

wR.ite your sex list on the back of your script

E.ntice your host

W.in the dick out of his pants.

That one sucks, let me try another

D.emand you can stay at his place

R.evise your previous lovers on a list

E.licit sexual actions from your host

W.rite his name on your list

[–] sygnius@lemmy.world 43 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That would've been the best opportunity for Danny DeVito to update her list with some pretty funny companions...

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 26 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I just want to know if Danny Devito was on the list.

[–] loonsun@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Why do you think she was at his house?

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

His was the only name.

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

It was the only name on there.

[–] Thrashy@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I highly recommend the Kill James Bond episodes on Charlie's Angels which break down just how much of each movie is basically just (executive producer) Drew Barrymore perving on her co-stars.

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one 4 points 6 months ago

I wonder if she crept on the boy without balloon played by Rich Evans

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I want Drew Barrymore to perv on me

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[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

Ouch. “The 50 first dated actress.”

Low blow

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

How many people would you have to sleep with to need a list to keep track? Like I've had a lot of partners but I don't need them writen down

[–] GenderNeutralBro@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes it's the other way around. You keep a list until it gets long enough (or you get old enough) that you don't care anymore.

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[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Five. But I don't have a great memory.

[–] VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

Why would you want to keep track if they're otherwise forgettable? You've probably forgotten some and that's fine.

It's like trying to remember every town you visited or every type of cola you ever drank. What are you going to do with that knowledge?

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