this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
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I think that a key difference between a habit vs not might be that when it's a habit, the decision you're thinking about when planning your course of action is less "whether to do the thing" but more "whether not to do the thing". For example if you're in the habit of eating regular meals, the question is "should I skip/postpone dinner", but if you're not then the question is "should I make dinner". Sure, you have as much choice as you have in any other thing, but your default course is different.
Crucially (I think) that while the questions technically result in the same outcomes, they can engage different values: for example 'should I make dinner' feels like it goes first to how much effort you feels like expending, while 'should I skip dinner' feels more like it starts with how much time you have.
This particular post isn't very... polite toward neurotypical people.
Like you say, there's a key difference between "making a behavior into the default" and "consistently managing to do something."
But I think we can both understand that this is likely to offend the neurotypical folks wandering onto this page. Especially because we're all pretty new to Lemmy (NTs and NDs alike) and I can guarantee you most of us still don't know where to find the "block community" button on the sidebar. Meaning they literally don't know how to avoid this kind of content popping up on their "all" and "local" feeds.
To put this in real-life terms, this lemmit is like an ADHD support group... but there's a young, inexperienced sommelier standing outside on the street offering free pizza and beer to random strangers saying, "come on in! This place is bumping!"
... and then, the neurotypical people he has invited in (along with neurodivergents and everything in between), after sitting down in a circle with the rest of us -- not sure why there's no disco lights or dance music -- proceed to immediately receive complaints about how much easier their life is than ours.
It wouldn't feel great being in their shoes right now.