Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system...which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,
It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.
Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
I don't think I have ADHD but that is the same with me.
Many ADHD traits are shared with neurotypicals. It's when these things become an issue that most people seek help. Frequency, duration, intensity.
My point is more that, it seems that person got a misconception - that habits are somehow completely automated for neurotypical folks. To be automated a task has to be learned by cerebellum, then like riding a bike - you don't have to actively think about it. Habits, seem to be too complex to be automated in that way.
Then it's not an ADHD trait.
There's two parts to a diagnosis:
A. Do you have enough of the ADHD traits as written in DSM-5?
2. Are the traits hurting you in a number of common settings in your everyday life?
You're not my social worker I don't need to tell you anything!
Oh I totally am, I'm just pretending not to be so that I can stealthily check up on you...
Brenda how could you
I'm sorry, the temptation was too great!
The specialist (not US) I seen include do you have those traits since childhood. If not it's something which cause those symptoms. Which fits my case.
That's not how it works; there aren't 'special' things which only manifest themselves in us, they are human aspects.