anyway, the last time i ate at a Cramker Bargle was probably 2011. i had some friends who worked on this middle-of-nowhere ass farm, lived in an old double wide trailer on the property and would have these banger parties that involved a bunch of people from all over falling asleep on couches and floors and wherever by the end. in the morning, the guy who lived there (a former chef) would decide unilaterally, depending on available ingredients and his hangover, if he was going to make a big country style breakfast for everyone who stayed, or if we were all going to go to the CB up by the interstate for a greasy breakfast before slinking off to our various domiciles for a lazy day digesting and napping. it's never great, but it sure does fill the gut.

fun bit of trivia: there's a brand of grocery store breakfast sausage called "Purnell's Old Folks". the chubs are mostly white with a cartoon pig on them. anyway, the meat processing plant where those are made is the same one that creates the fat/oil base for every cracker barrel's sausage gravy across the nation. i have been there. i have seen the vats of oil with my own eyes and felt their warmth in the air.

if you're the kind of brand loyalist / food nihilist that has to have the exact sausage gravy of a Cramker Bargle but can't eat at one, you can just buy purnell's gravy mix. same with the sausage patties too. i can't imagine why anyone would, except as an elaborate bit to recreate the cracker barrel culinary experience at home.