this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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On Reddit there was a thread along the lines of "Millennials, what's your retirement plans?" and the thread was locked with a message from a mod saying they had to shut the thread down because of all of the comments about suicide.
Quite frankly, I get it.
So much of it is just Boomers passing the buck with a "personal responsibility" trope that doesn't pan out for anyone with even a modicum of misfortune. What are your real options?
Age 10: Be in the top of your class. All of you. Everyone needs to be in the top 10% or you're not allowed to go to a good high school / college
Age 15: Have a job, but also dedicate all your time to studying, so you can save up to go to a good college. Also, don't let your grades slip, even a little, because you all need to be in the top 10%.
Age 20: Don't take on any college debt. But go to a good school. But also hold down a part time job. But studying is a full time job, so make sure you're getting As in all your classes. But take challenging classes, because no employer wants to see a bunch of fluff on your resume. But also join lots of clubs so you don't look boring. And make sure you find a partner, so you can start spitting out babies before you turn 30!
Age 25: Get an upwardly mobile job! Maybe even two jobs! And don't you fucking dare live with your parents, you loser. Have a career and a partner and don't forget your network is your networth, so make sure you do lots of socializing. But don't get into debt! Just own a car and live in a nice apartment and go on lots of dates and earn lots of money and DON'T SPEND ANY OF IT WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Age 30: Did you invest your savings? Pull out! Pull out! The current investments are all scams! You should do this other thing that's much more lucrative instead. Real estate is a scam, do stocks! Stocks are a scam, do crypto! Crypto's a scam, start your own business! Businesses regularly fail, what were you thinking?! You're a homeowner now, right? Because real estate is about to go up astronomically.
Age 35: Oh boy, hope you didn't experience any amount of burnout, because this is the most critical point in your life for career growth. You're already married and own a home and have at least six figures in the bank and own a car and have at least two kids by now, right? Because that's what your employers are going to want to see before they give you a promotion.
Age 40: How's it going, buddy? Ready for retirement yet?
Why would employers want you to have kids to have a promotion?
Because then you need the paycheck more, and are less likely to move.
Also you won't go on parental leave if you're done having kids.
People with dependents are more likely to put up with employers bullshit demands when its not just their own livelyhood on the line.
Buy a small plot of undeveloped land in a swamp -> buy a pot -> cook soup in the pot -> repeat step 3 until dead
Ambitious I know, but it's important to have goals.
Don't forget to bring some potatoes. Those things will grow without soil, I'm sure they'll grow in a swamp, and they upgrade soup to stew. :)
Potatoes grow without soil? New strat unlocked
Lots of things grow without soil, it's called hydroponics.
I knew about hydroponics but I never really took the time to research it as it's hard to live out the dream of living off the grid growing your own crops in a big ass city - that's neat, though
I have enough money to buy a pot, but not enough for swampy land :(
Don't forget the "I'm a millionaire and I was on my way to spend a billion dollars on my big business deal when I thought to take some time out from my 26 hour work days to tell you all that the reason other people can't afford a good retirement plan is because they ALL suck. If you don't beleive my claims of wealth and their suckyness, then its because you can't handle reality" comments from a statistically improbable number of people.
Relatable.
Suicide is the last stop for the economic incel
Wouldn't an economic incel be someone who lives on their parent's dime and doesn't really engage with the economy to any real degree? Someone who works, buys, but isn't making a living wage isn't an incel, they are being involuntarily screwed by society at large.
I'm sure there's a word for a person that's being penetrated against their will…
No