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Daily discussion thread: Thursday, May 9, 2024 (aussie.zone)

submitted 6 months ago by briongloid@aussie.zone to c/melbourne@aussie.zone

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[–] Seagoon_@aussie.zone 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There are so many parallels to the experience of “battered wives” who eventually retaliate against their abuser.

What happens is there is a tipping point when women become physically stronger than men. It's because women continue to do physical work around the house and men lose their testosterone and do no exercise. It's around age 65-70.

and increase the support available to people to get out of them.

family support is the best way but what happens is abusers tend to isolate their victims

[–] RustyRaven@aussie.zone 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Some abusers do worse than isolate their victims, they manage to get others on side supporting their abuse. In romantic relationships it might take the form of acting charming and winning over the family with public displays of affection so that when the partner expresses concern about problems their own family dismiss them. In parent/child relationships it can take the form of treating one child as a scapegoat so the whole family learn to treat them differently - a lot of the stories in the caretaking forum have people with extended families all presuring them to stay in abusive caretaking relationships while they offer nothing but criticism and blame the caretaker for being "selfish" if they ask for any support. Escaping abuse from one person is hard enough, when your entire family joins in it would be near impossible ☹️

[–] Seagoon_@aussie.zone 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I walked away from my family of origin. Parent and sibs. I refuse to play the role they have assigned me. I am not that person.

They responded with surprise and scorn. They know why.

I do worry for my bro who has been doing caring for elderly father, I did offer alliance, friendship and help but he declined.