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Married folks of Fediverse, if you could turn back time to few weeks or months before your marriage, what you would do differently (if you would like to)?? (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by WeAreAllOne@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] loopy@lemm.ee 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I guess not something that I would change, but I’m very glad we started with a marriage counselor. We did not have any overbearing concerns, but it has been immensely helpful in understanding each other and having a healthier relationship. Sometime people get weird and say “Oh no, a counselor, what’s wrong with your relationship.” Nothing. That is the point. Talk to one to get a baseline and when (not if) challenges come up, you don’t have to waste sessions filling them on your back story. Honestly, I think it should be required to do like three sessions before signing the papers, if nothing else to have someone point some things out that youre blind to otherwise about yourself.

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago

Yes, I wish we had done this then as well. I also would tell myself what my migraine triggers are, so that I could try to avoid getting the worst one ever the day after the wedding. I started the honeymoon on hard mode, and didnt get to enjoy the initial travel. It took a couple days to subside and then honeymoon was great.