this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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We're currently looking to start a family, so I thought I'd hit up YT for some advice as a male and the priority skew is mental. The most important thing is having a boy, apparently. Not tips for being supportive, how to help your partner, how to deal with anxieties about money and time.

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Dad's of Lemmy could you share some good advice for someone just starting a family please :D

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[–] DosDude@retrolemmy.com 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Babies cry, and it can be a lot. Maybe even frustrating. If you are feeling frustrated, just take a step back if your kid is in a safe spot. The kid won't break from crying. Just step back. Or ask your SO to step in if available. And ask to help if it's the other way around. You're not a bad dad for doing that. If anything you're a good one, because heated emotions can only damage.

Everything is a phase. Is the baby crying a lot? It will pass. Does the baby only want mommy? It will pass. All bad things will pass.

Enjoy cuddle times. Once they are bigger, they won't sleep on your chest anymore.

[–] mihnt@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 months ago

Once they are bigger, they won’t sleep on your chest anymore.

I woke up from a nap the other day with my 11 year old laying perpendicular across my chest dead asleep. She's a nut though.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Everything is a phase

This is probably the most important thing. There are phases when your child will refuse to sleep, scream all the time, etc. And in the moment, you start wondering if this is it--are the next 17 years going to be non-stop screaming? And it seems like they will. Then a week later, things change.

Repeat after me: this too shall pass.

Another thing I like to put out there is that you and your partner are about to experience sleep deprivation like you (likely) never have. I read a report that 25% of new parents experience hallucinations due to sleep deprivation (which was very true for me). So get sleep when you can, and try to not have terribly high expectations for yourself--some days, getting through is the best you can do, and that's okay.

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Totally agree. But I'd like to nitpick some phases last longer than others. My son started laughing at farts a few years back, and we probably still have 10 years ahead. What am I to do? Join in.

[–] frazorth 4 points 6 months ago

The kids will try and come to your bed for snuggles because they had a bad dream.

Enjoy it, because it's a phase and give it 8 years and they will never do it again. It's funny because it seems annoying at first, but knowing it will never happen again makes it a little sad.