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How do I start same-sex dating and romance? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I've been fighting off writing this for a while now. I even considered making a throwaway for it, but I guess if its too embarrassing I can delete it.

I've sorta come to accept I'm bi in recent years, and I am wondering how I should go about dating and courtship in regards to dating within my same sex (male). Especially since I find femininity to be a key attraction point. I also haven't dated or had sex in like, three years or more. Its been a while, I kinda stopped caring for myself and focused on work, I am slowly trying to become an interesting person again, get back in shape but its hard. I dunno, man. I'm in my mid-30s and I am trying to figure out what I want out of the world. There's a bit of lust involved. And I definitely need a hug at the very least.

Furthermore, I live in the Southern part of the US, and the amount of trans hate has me actively wanting out of here (I'm aiming for Colorado) and dating in this part of the Southeast is already difficult as is, in my prior experiences.

How does one navigate this kind of world after coming out? How do I deal with the stigma especially since in the states, there's a renewed interest in putting people back in the closet?

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[–] verenor@lemmy.tf 72 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

First of all: congratulations on coming out!

I think it might be easiest to start by trying to go to LGBT/gay-friendly clubs or parties and try to get comfortable with the idea of flirting or getting to know likeminded people in general. I am from the EU so I can't speak for the US but here almost all of these gatherings are open for straight people too so don't hesitate to bring a friend along who you feel comfortable around. In a location like that you can be sure that it's not because of your sexual orientation if advances fail and get comfortable to be in contact with other men that like men.

Disregarding sexual orientation, as a 30something year old myself I can confidently say that I know only very few people that seem to have figured stuff/life/anything out and to be honest I think they just hide their insecurities better. My general experience with people is that everybody is anxious and it's actually a good ice breaker to admit your own fears and insecurities.

I wish you pleasant experiences (:

*Edited a spelling error out