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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

41 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] chumbalumber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just move to the UK. This is the norm.

Inability to take a compliment is tied to the general cultural dislike of 'people who get above themselves'. Arrogance is the cardinal sin, and so in receiving a compliment you either a) accept it (meaning you agree with them that you're great, which is a sign of arrogance!) or b) deny it (false modesty! A sign of even greater arrogance!). The only acceptable response is to sputter and turn red with embarrassment.

[–] Syn_Attck@lemmy.today 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yes, yes, more ways to take down the British system of order by chaos. Feed me more information!!!

Excuse me, hi, you have a spot on your shirt. Don't mind me, I'm just going to cut to the front of the line, my dog has a vet appointment tomorrow.

[–] samc 2 points 7 months ago

How bloody dare you!