Neurodivergence

Oh wow, I know you are venting here and I don't want to take that from you. I get that you are frustrated. I have a similar story and am also mostly incapable of self-love or self-worth. But instead of turning out a pwNPD, I got to have all the empathy my mother is lacking.

But please, you are doing standard victim blaming here. It's probably not worth going into detail here because you don't seem self-aware enough to get why your actions may be perceived very differently by others than by you.

I get that society is in so far unfair to people with NPD or pedophiles because it does usually only portrait their worst qualities. But neither pwNPD nor pedophiles are monsters. That's why I compared NPD to pedophilia in my other comment. You have the traits to abuse others, but the choice is still yours. People with pedophilia also deserve our empathy. The struggle must be really hard on you. In yet another comment I cited many studies I found on NPD and what they basically all talked about was not only the abusiveness and lack of empathy of pwNPD but also the strong interpersonal problems they face.

I'm sorry for you, but please at least try to be a bit self-aware and don't gaslight us into thinking pwNPD are not commonly abusive and manipulative.