this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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It feels like a lot of people don't even want to think about the argument of the person on the other side. Its almost like they are afraid of trying to understand.
This is a spot on observation. There's a guy on TikTok that talks about healthy masculinity that really resonates with me and talks about this exact phenomenon and how it harms us all. The video I link here really nails it. He puts into words what I've always felt. His examples are based in politics, and his expansion is based on interpersonal relationships.
"If you can't state the opposite position of your position in good faith, then you don't know who you are. You only know who you wish you were."
Huge caveat, though: this only works when speaking to people in good faith. And it isn't always easy to spot when someone is speaking in good faith or in bad faith, especially when we're talking about subjects that effect us directly. The quote about anti-Semites not being unaware of the absurdity of their comments comes to mind.
Understanding would mean admitting that they themselves might have been acting wrongly and that they should change.
Admitting your own faults is hard and change is scary.
It sucks how hard it is to have honest and good faith conversations.