this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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I met a girl that I'm interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.

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[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The only issue I’d see is that there ambiguity as to whether it’s a date or just shopping with a friend. But that happens with a lot of dates unless you’re doing something classic like asking them to dinner, which isn’t always the most exciting date

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I've never understood this dilemma. You're gonna find out if there's chemistry and interest by the end, either way. And if it's just friendship, it's just friendship. You gained a new comic shopping buddy.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It’s true, at worst you get a friend, but I do think your perception going into something can shape an experience. I’m not gonna sit here and say stuff like that”you’ll get stuck in the friend zone” and other incel bs, but I do think expectations matter.

[–] MrZee@lemm.ee 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

On this train of thought…

OP, if you don’t make it clear that you want to date her, then make sure you accept the ambiguity of the situation and that she might have no idea that you want to date her (romantically). It can feel like your interest is obvious if you ask her to hang out one-on-one. But she may not immediately see that and could accept, assuming that you are strictly going as friends.

It’s totally ok to ask her to hang out, just don’t build up the situation to be more than it is. If she says yes, you’ll have to play it by ear. Maybe she’ll consider it a date. Maybe she’ll consider it a strictly-platonic hangout. Or maybe somewhere in between.

Edit: and if it goes well —even if it just ends up being a platonic hang out—I’d lean toward specifying “date” when you ask her to go out again.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That's a fair point, it does require a certain openness or flexibility in expectations.

[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 8 months ago

Much like all of life. Expectations cause suffering.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Agreed. I'd maybe ask something like "do you want to go to a comic book store then grab a coffee afterwards?" Just to clear up any ambiguity, but this is 10x better than just asking someone to dinner.