Asklemmy

43947 readers

863 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

193

What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

414 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 31 points 8 months ago (3 children)

'round here "guys" has become gender neutral. But "folks" is my go-to.

[–] Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Guy is actually from the proper name Guy, variant of Guido. It was originally used as a mild insult, refering to Guy Fawkes, infamous terrorist.

I think "guys" is perfectly gender neutral, in the same way "you idiots" is.

[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 2 points 8 months ago

Haha love it.

[–] Pan_Ziemniak@midwest.social 4 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Same. And i will die on the hill that dude is gender neutral. Dudette sounds like a mini dude, and no way am i calling into question any dudes "dudeness" on account of their gender.

[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My 8 yr old grand daughter calls everyone "bro". Including her mom!

[–] Pan_Ziemniak@midwest.social 3 points 8 months ago

Thats my point! My cis woman SO? dude. My trans woman friend? dude. Shes no longer with us, but my very very princess like girl dog? fucking dude.

I feel like i def call my SO, bro, too.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I subscribe to the "Goodburger" school of thought on the subject: I'm a dude, you're a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes.

[–] Doubleohdonut@lemmy.ca 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

What about El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing? 😁

[–] Pan_Ziemniak@midwest.social 1 points 8 months ago

Yes to receiving, no to giving. :p

[–] NaoPb@eviltoast.org 2 points 8 months ago

Similarly over here. But also with man, dude, men.

I can be saying that to anyone or anything and not have a gendered meaning to it.