this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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I ended up taking the boring route: I went with the name that my parents would have named me if I'd been AMAB. My deadname didn't have a masculine version, and there were no other names starting with the same letter I liked, but then I remembered when I was about 11 I'd asked my parents what they would have called me if I was born a boy. So I tried out that name, and found that it just seemed to fit. It's not too common, I don't know anybody else in my personal life with the same name, but it's common enough that people know how to spell it, and it fits my age.
I didn't like the middle name that my parents chose, though. It made my whole name a bit of a mouthful, especially as I had a longer surname at the time as well. Since middle names aren't something that get used often, I went a bit more exotic with it, and picked the closest real-world version of my favourite OC's name.
My spouse and I changed both of our surnames at the same time, as I had taken his surname when we married, but neither of us had a strong emotional attachment to it. So we selected a new one. We're both descended from a white minority group that has its own ancestral language, so we formed our new surname to fit in with the cultural naming style of that language. As a result, our surname is unique, yet doesn't look out of place in a phonebook.
what it easy to change your surname to a new one ?
In the UK, it's really easy, as both first names and surnames can be changed with a deed poll. This is basically a document that details your new and old name, signed by two people that aren't related to you that you have known for at least two years. We don't really have defined "legal names" here, so the deed poll is accepted by most organisations to change your records (PayPal were weirdly annoying about it, even after I'd changed my driving licence and passport with zero fuss.)
PayPal still has my deadname, tbh. I just didn't care enough to send them all the documentation they wanted, given that it would have been enough to allow anyone on their staff to steal my identity if they wanted.
PayPal are a nightmare for changing names, they really are. They're the only organisation I had any trouble with. What I did in the end was close my old account and open a new one under the same email address, which then required just my new driving licence as proof of ID, like any other new customer. Oh, and I got an apology from customer services for that being the only solution.
Oof. An apology is nice, but a user-friendly experience would be better. I signed up long ago that I didn’t have to give a driver’s license, but did have to give a checking account, and when I changed my name, they said they would change it on my account if I sent a driver’s license, and I think my legal name change paperwork. Which was doable, but I care more about having some semblance of privacy than I do about having my payment information be accurate. I don’t want anyone to have that much information about me unless I am getting something extremely valuable in exchange. I just think of it as having some random woman paying for my eBay purchases. It’s sort of disturbing to think about how long ago all of that was, lol.
What's "OC"?
"Original character". Basically, it's a character you create, not one from a book/TV series/film/game/whatever.
picking your middle name based off an important oc is so awesome, and funny because i have a similar experience. only after using max/maxine for little while did i make the connection that my favourite oc is named maxwell 🙈 which was kind of awkward but also really funny to me! guess it just really shows what my favourite names trend toward ;)
I kind of figure that a person's favourite OC is one that resonates with them for some reason, and that feels like a really valid reason to use their name as inspiration for a middle name.