Lord of the memes

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Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/lotrmemes@midwest.social

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[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 48 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I used to be a huge advocate for “boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time”, but now that I have a bidet at home, I would just as soon die that shit at the office. I’ll hold it until I get to a place where I can clean my asshole properly after

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 41 points 9 months ago (2 children)

[–] Palerider 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Home is where ~~the heart is~~ ~~you poop most comfortably~~ you go when the Pub shuts.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

home is where you poop most comportably

[–] Dindonmasker@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Two words. Portable bidet. I have one everywhere i poop often and one to take with me for longer trips. They're good and cheap so why not.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So you take an apparatus with you every time you use the bathroom away from home? I'm not judging, I'm just genuinely curious about how that works

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They are small. It's like taking a phone around with you. For me they are not sufficient as a TP substitute but as an adjunct. I am partial to the Toto motorized one.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What about splashback? Do they need to be cleaned? How does one transport them? I love bidets, but I'd feel icky tossing a portable one in a backpack along with my lunch...

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Keeps in a bag. Propels stream at an angle and waste water falls vertically down, so it's not getting directly bathed in waste. It folds up and tip is concealed. I just wipe down tip with some TP.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

Sounds intriguing! I might look into getting one.

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It goes on the rim and hangs inside the toilet bowl, right? That thing is festering with shit particles if so.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

No. Look up portable bidets. Many options but I don't think any are like that

[–] peanuts4life@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I've never in my life been a baby wipe user... Untill I got a bidet at home. Now I stock work with them just so I can clock those work hours.

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

They are really bad for pipes, and I don’t give a fuck about my employers pocket book, but I don’t want the poor custodial staff of the building to have to unclog pipes because of my asshole.

[–] space@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

Use baby wipes. They work pretty good.