this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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That’s a pretty Westernized view - it’s absolutely NOT a cultural norm to give close friends of either gender hugs in most Asian cultures. This includes societies that are very Westernized like Taiwan. It doesn’t make people any less friendly or emotionally vulnerable- but hugging is something we just don’t do.
Cultural norms can be good or bad. There are plenty of bad norms in the US. I won't speak to Asia's norms, and wasn't talking about Asia. I was talking about my own culture in the US. Perhaps people in Asia have other wholesome ways of expressing these things. Or perhaps Asia's cultures are damaged and damaging like my home's culture is. I don't know.
But your comparison feels like whataboutism and deflection. Humans wanting to touch and to be touched in non-sexual ways isn't weird or shameful. That's what I'm addressing here.
Humans not wanting to be touched is OK, too. I'm not advocating for nonconsensual hugging or touching.
What's weird to me is how even discussing it brings out instant defensiveness in some folks, which is kind of proving the point that I am trying to make.
No shaming at all! But I think it’s important to recognize that not all cultures express affection the same way.
One very poignant scene I remember well was when a Disney exec met the famous Japanese director Hiyao Miyazaki for the first time. The American exec rushed forward to hug them and I remember thinking that Miyazaki may have felt pretty uncomfortable with that. As an Asian American that spends a lot of time in both cultures I find that Americans tend to (for lack of a better word) impose their cultural norms on others - either through well meaning ignorance or cultural chauvinism I don’t know.
(Note: I tried to reply to this comment but it got put into the main thread. Copying and pasting here for visibility, apologies for duplicate post)